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For Cedar or anyone: My dad did it again...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 650730" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I don't trust anyone in my DNA collection, however my father tells me ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about my brother and sister, and I'm glad. I asked him not to. But he is so capable of being quiet when he wants to, I figured he'd do me the same courtesy. I was wrong. I just won't tell him anything from now on. I have pretty much stopped telling him most things because he doesn't really want to know about me, my kids whom he never sees or talks to, or anything unrelated to him. But I had a slip up when I thought I had cancer and told him because he IS my Daddy (sarcasm) and I had a slight relapse then. THAT he actually seemed a bit concerned about so I forgot who he is and told him about the surgery, even though I just say "I had surgery for female problems" to anyone else who asks, such as work. And if others ask, "Can you be specific" I just smile and say, "You know...female problems" and that's the end of it. Let them think what they want.</p><p></p><p>I should have kept this one under lock and key because I know my sister thinks I'm nuts for having BRCA1/2 screen and that when I told her that she should really tell her girls that early breast cancer runs in the family, she flew into a frenzy. This is soebody with an eating disorder who is nutty about body image. At 55, she still diets if she weighs over 100 lbs. and my ex asked me once if she was sick because she is very pretty but so incredibly skinny. The idea of losing a breast would horrify her. The idea of choosing to have preventative surgery to her would be like choosing to cut off your arm for no reason. She is all aabout how one looks. So I really didn't want her to know. She makes a lot of fun of people whom she thinks are funny looking or fat (she thinks almost everyone is fat). So now she knows.</p><p></p><p>Oh, well. Rationally, big deal. It's not like we're going to have a long talk and she is going to get to taunt me to my face or call me "borderlilne" for doing it to my face. I am letting this one go because it isn't worth it. However, I am sad to see my dad the way I have this past year. I dealt with my mom years and years ago and wanted to think my narcissistic dad was better than her.</p><p></p><p>"Which poison do you want, my dear?"</p><p></p><p>It's time to let go of any idea that my family of origin was functional in any way and to just move on with my own family and be mindful of my own behavior so that I don't repeat what I grew up with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 650730, member: 1550"] Well, I don't trust anyone in my DNA collection, however my father tells me ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about my brother and sister, and I'm glad. I asked him not to. But he is so capable of being quiet when he wants to, I figured he'd do me the same courtesy. I was wrong. I just won't tell him anything from now on. I have pretty much stopped telling him most things because he doesn't really want to know about me, my kids whom he never sees or talks to, or anything unrelated to him. But I had a slip up when I thought I had cancer and told him because he IS my Daddy (sarcasm) and I had a slight relapse then. THAT he actually seemed a bit concerned about so I forgot who he is and told him about the surgery, even though I just say "I had surgery for female problems" to anyone else who asks, such as work. And if others ask, "Can you be specific" I just smile and say, "You know...female problems" and that's the end of it. Let them think what they want. I should have kept this one under lock and key because I know my sister thinks I'm nuts for having BRCA1/2 screen and that when I told her that she should really tell her girls that early breast cancer runs in the family, she flew into a frenzy. This is soebody with an eating disorder who is nutty about body image. At 55, she still diets if she weighs over 100 lbs. and my ex asked me once if she was sick because she is very pretty but so incredibly skinny. The idea of losing a breast would horrify her. The idea of choosing to have preventative surgery to her would be like choosing to cut off your arm for no reason. She is all aabout how one looks. So I really didn't want her to know. She makes a lot of fun of people whom she thinks are funny looking or fat (she thinks almost everyone is fat). So now she knows. Oh, well. Rationally, big deal. It's not like we're going to have a long talk and she is going to get to taunt me to my face or call me "borderlilne" for doing it to my face. I am letting this one go because it isn't worth it. However, I am sad to see my dad the way I have this past year. I dealt with my mom years and years ago and wanted to think my narcissistic dad was better than her. "Which poison do you want, my dear?" It's time to let go of any idea that my family of origin was functional in any way and to just move on with my own family and be mindful of my own behavior so that I don't repeat what I grew up with. [/QUOTE]
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