For crying out loud, I can't do ANYTHING normal!!!

[flutterbee]

So, I broke down tonight and called my doctor cause my head was hurting so bad that it made the other night seem like a paper cut in comparison. I was beyond desperate. I normally try to s-uck it up and deal with it, but I couldn't tonight. Didn't help that difficult child had a meltdown of huge proportions. easy child drove me to the pharmacy and even asked me, "You're not going to pass out on me, are you?"

Anyway, my doctor called in hydrocodone. I know that those kinds of medications are supposed to make you drowsy. Even says so on the rx bottle. AND, pre-angioplasty it would have knocked me on my hiney. One little pill.

Not so anymore. My body is tired; it feels heavy, my eyes are bleary (is that even a word?). But, my mind is going a thousand miles a minute. It. Will. Not. Stop. And it's 3:45 AM and there is NOONE to talk to. Not that they'd be talking anyway cause they'd be too busy LISTENING. To me. Rambling. About everything and nothing.

At least the headache is gone. It can't hurt. It's too busy doing other things.

:faint:

 

[timer lady]

Heather,

I've been on steroids since the 4th of July; since then my sleep patterns have bit the dust. I spend a great deal of time in pain & unable to sleep.

Two things I can offer. Sleep when your body allows you to sleep. The other thing I'd offer is to learn to accept this - find something you can do in the middle of the night that isn't dependent on others.

As you know, I've taken up art work. More importantly, what's kept me sane is my nature journal. My observations of the world outside my home. I have a couple of windows in my home that I can sit & watch nature go by when I cannot get outside. Even in the middle of the night I learn; I find the number of minutes of daylight per day we've lost since the summer soltice & have been recording it. Along with that, I've been journaling nature's response to the loss of daylight.

It's just something I've learned to love & look forward to each night when I know that sleep will not be in the picture.

And on top of the pain, this is the time when I can concentrate on paying bills, sorting out the ins & outs of tweedledom.

That's not to say I don't resent the hell out of the changes that have happened to me & my body. That's not to say I look forward to each & every night of being up & alone while the world around me sleeps; that I don't resent the hell out of the pain that at times just cripples me.

And I have to remind myself that I'm in my first year of a chronic illness; that I have yet to really discover where this illness is going & how I will have to change my day to day schedules & such to accomodate my body.

You will have to find a way to do the same. Again, you are in the first year of this; the year of having to define yourself & change your daily life to accomodate your body.

Sending you a big ((((HUG))) this morning - along with a sympathetic ear if I'm around.

 

[ctmom05]

<span style='font-family: Courier New'>Timer Lady,

Your words of wisdom to Heather were more practical than you know.

Heather, I truly empathize with the weirdness of the sleep issue. Timer Lady described the situation so well....about coping. It somehow involves making the best of what's been dropped in your lap and incorporating it into your life, the best you can.

Sometimes medical issues can be a dang HUGE disruption. But there is still life to deal with and other places you need to be. The key is in what Lynda said - somehow, and we each do it in our own individual way, you have to really learn to accept this, even tho the sheer act of doing so may seem monumental.</span>

 

[nvts]

I wish I'd thought to log on last night - I'm a WICKED insomniac and would have loved to shoot the breeze rather than watch "Real Stories of the ER".

Maybe someone would have come up with some Christmas present ideas. I hate shopping!

Heather and Timer Lady: have either of you tried warm milk, 2 tsp. of honey and vanilla? I know it sounds simple (and sort of gross), but whenever we have to get difficult child 2 to sleep when he's on Albuterol for his asthma, this kicks the cr*p out of him.

Just a thought!

Beth

:santa:

 

[Abbey]

Heather...join the 'no sleep' crowd. It's 6am and I haven't slept yet tonight. It stinks. I am one that needs a good solid 8 hours. It DOES wear you down. I find myself with racing, changing thoughts. I wish I could just turn my mind off.

Abbey

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: wyntersgrace</div><div class="ubbcode-body">... my eyes are bleary (is that even a word?). </div></div>

Yep:

blear·y [bleer-ee]
–adjective, blear·i·er, blear·i·est.
1. (of the eyes or sight) blurred or dimmed, as from sleep or weariness.
2. indistinct; unclear: The day begins with a bleary view of one's world.
3. fatigued; worn-out.


OK, sorry to go off on the tangent, but at least I can answer that one, if none of your other questions.

 

[Steely]

Hydrocodone does that to me too. When I am passing kidney stones, which happens about once a year, I can only take the pain killers in the day, because otherwise I cannot sleep at night. It has this weird adverse affect on some people like that.

I hope your head is feeling better today?
Second horrible headache in a week, what does the doctor think?

So sorry you are not feeling better.......sending positive thoughts your way.

 

[flutterbee]

It's not unusual for me to be up at 3 am. I've always been a night owl so I'm used to it. I get my energy at night. But, last night my mind was racing and I had SO many good ideas and noone to share them with. Of course, I can't remember ANY of them now. hehehehehe

WW - This is what my doctor said. You have this muscle (or group, not sure, and I don't remember what it's called) that goes up the back of your neck and attaches to the base of your skull. It also goes along your shoulders and then makes a diamond shape around your back - so it goes out like to the rib cage. That is what is causing these headaches. When I put my head down with my chin toward my chest, I feel it pull - painfully - all the way down my back and across my ribs. I'm also having a lot of pain in my neck, shoulders and shoulder blades. My head yesterday was hurting along the right side of that muscle all down my neck, all the way to the top of my head, my right eye and ear hurt and I could feel every tooth on the right side.

I have some kind of inflammation, she says, some kind of rheumatic something or other - what we don't know yet. She had me on voltaren which is an NSAID and it's been doing nothing, yet I continue to take it because I'm a good girl. It hasn't done anything for pain. She has put me on steroids, but I hadn't started them yet because I had appts and I don't do so well on steroids. I was going to start them this (Tuesday) morning, but I finally went to sleep around 5am, made sure easy child was up at 6am and went back to sleep til around 1pm. I'm going to start them tomorrow (Wednesday) as I have nowhere I *have* to be this week or next week so if I'm out of commission, it's ok.

The headache is gone today. Thank God. But, I'm having a lot of pain in my neck, left shoulder and shoulder blade. So I took another pain pill tonight. It's amazing - how you don't realize how much you're hurting everyday until it's significantly diminished. It's been a part of my life for so long that I guess it's become normal. It's just been getting worse is all.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: timer lady</div><div class="ubbcode-body">And I have to remind myself that I'm in my first year of a chronic illness; that I have yet to really discover where this illness is going & how I will have to change my day to day schedules & such to accomodate my body.

You will have to find a way to do the same. Again, you are in the first year of this; the year of having to define yourself & change your daily life to accomodate your body. </div></div>

I guess that's what I'm doing wrong. I'm trying to adjust, but I think I'm fighting it more. I will not let myself think anything other than we'll figure out what it is, start treatment and I'll be able to return to business as usual. I'm not ready to even contemplate anything else. I can't.

 

[goldenguru]

Don't ya know - normal is just a setting on your dryer??
:faint:
Hugs.