'For Sale' sign is in the car. difficult child is in retaliation mode.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DramaQueenLucy, Apr 5, 2011.

  1. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    Graduation is around the corner and it is time for him to face some hard facts. I told him last night that I'm done with him, his lies and manipulation. He claims that he is looking for a job but I don't really know if he is or not. The car now boasts a for sale sign and is parked away from the house. I did allow him to use my van a bit last night to look but that stops today because he stole money from the car got himself McDonald's for dinner and tossed his trash in the front yard.

    I told him last night that this isn't going to continue. If he doesn't have a car then he has no way to get to the collage to take courses. So then he could get a job and move out. If he does manage to get a job and keep the car, if it hasn't sold yet, then he could stay home as long as he pays me rent and he covers all his bills.

    The bottom line here is no job, no school, no home and no car, his choice.

    Now it gets tricky because my difficult child is a wonderful manipulator and he calls my parents. He easily pulls the wool over their eyes. I talked to my mother this morning and told her that this is how it is going to be. She wants to 'talk' to him. I told her that I'm not the only one he had lied to about looking for a job. She told me oh that poor kid he has had it so rough...blah blah blah! Yeah he had it hard when his father killed himself, difficult child found him dead but that was 11 years ago and even his PsychDoc says that he is past it as a matter of fact at his last testing, 3 years ago, they removed Post Traumatic Stress and moved him up from ODD to CD.

    I lost it...told her that poor kid lied to all of us for the last year, lived off of my money and took advantage of you and your money. He is still screwing around at school, I got a call from his teacher yesterday, and acting like a little kid.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    Good for you!!! I will rattle beads, do the chicken liver dance, and pretzel body parts to help you stay strong!
  3. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    aaww! thanks! The hardest part is in front of me...I don't even want to go home tonight.
  4. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Good job! Stay strong and if he tries to start something with you walk away and close the door. My daughter has actually kicked in my door when I had it locked (she weighs 100 pds) to force me to listen to her. I had to get my keys and leave the house. It was terrible, but just the act of refusing to buy into the insanity made me feel strong! Hang in there!:notalone:
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    WOW !
    :congratualtions:YOU GO WARRIOR MOM!
    :bravo:EXCELLENT JOB


    AMAZED!:happyguy:HAPPY DANCE!!!!!
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Since I can't top Star's response........I'll just DITTO it.

    As far as the dad thing, tell your mom that if everyone continues to want to "baby" or "coddle" him over it, he's going to milk it and never learn to stand up to be a man. There is a huge difference in pity and support.

    I know it's hard though. My mom tends to do this with Travis.........who doesn't listen to a word she says except enough to give her the response she wants to hear.
  7. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    I've tried with my Mom she just doesn't want to get it. Like today she told me we all know that he lied for a long time there is no reason to emotionally beat up the kid...ugh
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    If he is retaliating it is time for him to leave. Maybe his grandparents will want to keep him until graduation? They'll tire of him by July.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I hear ya Lucy.......I get the same comments, not nearly as much now as in the past but still. Frustrating.

    Although setting up consequences for breaking rules of the household is not emotionally beating him up. It's life. The world is not going to coddle him due to his past and they're going to make you're consequences seem like fluff if he doesn't get it soon. Good thing for me I've learned to ignore what comes out of my mom's mouth.......she doesn't have the education nor experience to judge the situation accurately. She means well, I can accept that. Just 99 percent of what she has to say doesn't apply. lol

    Witz has a point.........if they think you're too harsh when he gets booted for not following house rules he can always go there. Then, they'd understand somewhat.

  10. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    I wish they would take him and really find out just what he has been doing. They live in another state and travel a good part of the year so thats not happening. I've come to accept that she isn't going to change...I just wish she wouldn't 'help' so often..:sigh:
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Tell your Mom if she keeps interfering? It is going to kill you, you will DIE.....she wil have to STOP traveling, and you will - make sure the children go to her.

    MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......it could work.