I asked the Moderators whether or not I should post this (after posting in the Mods Forum) and they all said, "Yes! we need to hear the positives" even though there are not many of you who remember my son ten years ago this month when I joined this board. I do not believe I have done a general post since he got into both Eastman and Juilliard. At that time, four years ago, your interest and enthusiasm made the dark days seem worth it.
For those of you who do not know my ex-difficult child, he was very depressed and spent 14 months in an EGBS in MA from ages 14 to 15.5. He was an extraordinarily musically gifted child but combined with the depression, ODD emerged at adolescence and he did not play at all from ages 14 to 16. Since he returned from EGBS, he has really been OK, and it may be tempting fate to say this, but when MRNO came back from EGBS, I never for a second stopped feeling like the mother of a difficult child. When he got into Juilliard and made it through the first semester, I knew I was being irrational, but I never stopped feeling like the mother of a difficult child. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I think now that my son is not a difficult child and I am still his mother, but not the mother of a difficult child. Of course, he is at great risk (statistically) for another major depressive episode, but I think that even if that should happen, he will be a person with major depression but still not a difficult child....or at least that is what I hope.
I think I should stop waiting for the worst because----
MRNO GOT INTO YALE FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He will be studying for a Master's degree in music in organ performance (same as his undergraduate major.)
What a relief. I thought he would get in, but you never know....He said his audition went well, and he never overestimates. He gets a full ride scholarship plus $3,500. He has gotten a part time church job to make ends meet, a car for graduation, and all he needs is a place to live.
On a personal note, I am delighted. When I was an undergrad, Yale was my favorite place to have a boyfriend of the moment because the campus was so beautiful. Now I will get to see it again, probably several times. It is a two-year program.
In addition to this news, MRNO is going to Korea for the third summer in a row following his graduation from Juilliard which is in 10 days. Two days after returning from Korea, he is going to England as the organist for the choir in which he was a little choir-boy long ago. I think it is a fitting ending to what turned out to be a twelve year journey that NO ONE would ever have predicted would end as it has...
Is he "really" OK? I don't know---I'm used to him--he IS moody and has "artistic temperament" to the hilt. However, he is a responsible professional who manages his own affairs, and when he needs to do new things (such as lease an apartment for the first time) he asks for help. It is a unique experience to have a child who exceeds most everyone around in a talent area by the age of twelve, but be exceptionally incapable in other ways. I guess one way of looking at him is to say, "Yes, he's still different, but good different and the world of the arts is a lot more tolerant than the world of 3rd grade so that he (and I) survived to tell the tale!
Martie
For those of you who do not know my ex-difficult child, he was very depressed and spent 14 months in an EGBS in MA from ages 14 to 15.5. He was an extraordinarily musically gifted child but combined with the depression, ODD emerged at adolescence and he did not play at all from ages 14 to 16. Since he returned from EGBS, he has really been OK, and it may be tempting fate to say this, but when MRNO came back from EGBS, I never for a second stopped feeling like the mother of a difficult child. When he got into Juilliard and made it through the first semester, I knew I was being irrational, but I never stopped feeling like the mother of a difficult child. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I think now that my son is not a difficult child and I am still his mother, but not the mother of a difficult child. Of course, he is at great risk (statistically) for another major depressive episode, but I think that even if that should happen, he will be a person with major depression but still not a difficult child....or at least that is what I hope.
I think I should stop waiting for the worst because----
MRNO GOT INTO YALE FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He will be studying for a Master's degree in music in organ performance (same as his undergraduate major.)
What a relief. I thought he would get in, but you never know....He said his audition went well, and he never overestimates. He gets a full ride scholarship plus $3,500. He has gotten a part time church job to make ends meet, a car for graduation, and all he needs is a place to live.
On a personal note, I am delighted. When I was an undergrad, Yale was my favorite place to have a boyfriend of the moment because the campus was so beautiful. Now I will get to see it again, probably several times. It is a two-year program.
In addition to this news, MRNO is going to Korea for the third summer in a row following his graduation from Juilliard which is in 10 days. Two days after returning from Korea, he is going to England as the organist for the choir in which he was a little choir-boy long ago. I think it is a fitting ending to what turned out to be a twelve year journey that NO ONE would ever have predicted would end as it has...
Is he "really" OK? I don't know---I'm used to him--he IS moody and has "artistic temperament" to the hilt. However, he is a responsible professional who manages his own affairs, and when he needs to do new things (such as lease an apartment for the first time) he asks for help. It is a unique experience to have a child who exceeds most everyone around in a talent area by the age of twelve, but be exceptionally incapable in other ways. I guess one way of looking at him is to say, "Yes, he's still different, but good different and the world of the arts is a lot more tolerant than the world of 3rd grade so that he (and I) survived to tell the tale!
Martie
I am sending Mr. No and his best secret weapon- you a standing ovation. What an amazing turn around! I'm in awe. I'm actually moved to tears at his great success. 
(happy tear)
