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Parent Emeritus
For those who have adult adopted difficult children....
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<blockquote data-quote="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow" data-source="post: 400422" data-attributes="member: 8405"><p>I understand the desire to know birth parents and the curiosity of investigating family history etc etc etc... I was raised by my own bio-parents and have LOTS of connections with extended family members. I STILL LOVE to meet my own distant relatives etc and gain insight to how much within the family is genetics etc....</p><p></p><p>Our adopted kids were adopted out of EXTREME trauma. The eldest of our sibling adoption group, was first placed with us for adoption, then re-united with her birth-father. At age 18 she was murdered during a holiday visit to her (and our adopted kids') bio-mom. </p><p></p><p>More than 10 years later the case remains unsolved. </p><p></p><p>It appears experts do not consider bio-mom a suspect... but the reality is she has been addicted to a very dangerous lifestyle for a very long time. </p><p></p><p>I get how it is natural to be curious and want to pursue roots... I know first hand how it is not always in the best interest of the child. </p><p></p><p>We encouraged our kids IF they want to try and make contact it would be wise to wait before opening that door until our youngest had finished high-school. ANNNNDDD proceed with EXTREME caution!!!!</p><p></p><p>A former long-term foster parent to the murdered sibling cracked open that door before our preferred time-frame. Our kids Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-explosion followed shortly afterward.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, post: 400422, member: 8405"] I understand the desire to know birth parents and the curiosity of investigating family history etc etc etc... I was raised by my own bio-parents and have LOTS of connections with extended family members. I STILL LOVE to meet my own distant relatives etc and gain insight to how much within the family is genetics etc.... Our adopted kids were adopted out of EXTREME trauma. The eldest of our sibling adoption group, was first placed with us for adoption, then re-united with her birth-father. At age 18 she was murdered during a holiday visit to her (and our adopted kids') bio-mom. More than 10 years later the case remains unsolved. It appears experts do not consider bio-mom a suspect... but the reality is she has been addicted to a very dangerous lifestyle for a very long time. I get how it is natural to be curious and want to pursue roots... I know first hand how it is not always in the best interest of the child. We encouraged our kids IF they want to try and make contact it would be wise to wait before opening that door until our youngest had finished high-school. ANNNNDDD proceed with EXTREME caution!!!! A former long-term foster parent to the murdered sibling cracked open that door before our preferred time-frame. Our kids Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-explosion followed shortly afterward. [/QUOTE]
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