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The Watercooler
For those with abusive kids, what was the first hint you had that he WAS abusive?
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 610247" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>MWM, that's horrible. I don't know what I would do, if one of my kids actually hit me. Fight back, I guess. But then, that is what everyone says, until they actually experience abuse, themselves, and get frozen inside and afraid to leave. This must all have been so impossibly hard for you. I must have been off the site when you told us about your history with 35. I thought 35 was doing a verbal abuse by phone thing. </p><p></p><p>I apologize for anything I've ever posted about never giving up on a child. Just like parents with easy child kids could never understand what we go through, even those of us with difficult children don't know what it is like to deal with a truly disturbed, violent difficult child, unless that has happened to us.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what I would do, MWM. Probably, I would do just what you are doing. I would still love the child enough to want him better, and I would still try until, like you, I really got it that this person cannot be helped ~ at least, not by me. Do you think part of the reason you keep contact with 35 is so that you know where he is? I might do that. </p><p></p><p>I know I would be afraid.</p><p></p><p>I believe I would take a gun safety course, and keep a gun. And maybe, have something like Life Alert.</p><p></p><p>And a really big dog.</p><p></p><p>They say we should have one of those automatic keys that remotely start the car? And if something scary happens at night, you hit the horn with that remote. Someone will hear. Tell the neighbors that if they hear that, to send help.</p><p></p><p>*****************</p><p></p><p>The first time I ever suspected abuse is when you posted that article and I started thinking about verbal interactions with my kids, and in my family of origin, differently.</p><p></p><p>Looks like I didn't have a clue what I was talking about.</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 610247, member: 1721"] MWM, that's horrible. I don't know what I would do, if one of my kids actually hit me. Fight back, I guess. But then, that is what everyone says, until they actually experience abuse, themselves, and get frozen inside and afraid to leave. This must all have been so impossibly hard for you. I must have been off the site when you told us about your history with 35. I thought 35 was doing a verbal abuse by phone thing. I apologize for anything I've ever posted about never giving up on a child. Just like parents with easy child kids could never understand what we go through, even those of us with difficult children don't know what it is like to deal with a truly disturbed, violent difficult child, unless that has happened to us. I don't know what I would do, MWM. Probably, I would do just what you are doing. I would still love the child enough to want him better, and I would still try until, like you, I really got it that this person cannot be helped ~ at least, not by me. Do you think part of the reason you keep contact with 35 is so that you know where he is? I might do that. I know I would be afraid. I believe I would take a gun safety course, and keep a gun. And maybe, have something like Life Alert. And a really big dog. They say we should have one of those automatic keys that remotely start the car? And if something scary happens at night, you hit the horn with that remote. Someone will hear. Tell the neighbors that if they hear that, to send help. ***************** The first time I ever suspected abuse is when you posted that article and I started thinking about verbal interactions with my kids, and in my family of origin, differently. Looks like I didn't have a clue what I was talking about. I'm so sorry. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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For those with abusive kids, what was the first hint you had that he WAS abusive?
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