difficult child had started asking questions like "when I'm like this or doing this, is this what you mean by hypomania" and he had started discussing meltdowns (after the fact of course), but REFUSES to discuss his raging. My question is, how much can I reasonably expect him to be aware of himself being symptommatic? Is it that he knows something doesn't feel right, but he is afraid? (He has said this on a few occassions about his body-physically, not emotionally or mentally). Or is it that he can't realize it at all and thinks it is normal- or does he realize it and just wants to "defend" it? I'm trying not to over-analyze, but I think it would help me deal with him and the situations better if I had some clue about how much of this he understands. I had expected therapists to help in this area, but this forum and the books have gotten me light-years ahead of the therapists and psychiatrist just saying either "get the psychiatrist to get the medications straight" or "deal with it in therapy" so we never really get anywhere with that bunch. I'm trying to change the doctors, but it will be a few weeks- assuming difficult child gets to come home. In the meantime, I noticed that when he can discuss a previous meltsown, I feel like I can help him deal with it and help him in the future from things escalating to that point. With the raging- since he refuses to discuss it at all, I find myself being resentful. Which of course, is not helping anyone. There have been a couple of times that after a rage, difficult child has automatically "tucked his tail" and cleaned up the mess or tried to make amends without me even asking. But this isn't always the case and this has to be dealt with. Sometimes medications do the trick- but I know he HAS to get to a point where we can deal with this.