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General Parenting
for those with difficult child and easy child's...discipline question
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 431534" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>See, I would have figured out Insane's scenario pretty quickly because I would just badger the boys with questions until I found the pattern, but that's me.</p><p></p><p>I'm not huge on discipline, but when it's necessary, it doesn't always fit the crime but it fits the person. DD1 LOVES to play outside, so If I have to ground her, she loses outdoor privileges first. DD2 LOVES computer, so guess what she loses first? Son I haven't had to discipline in years, but I think it would be the computer which might just kill him because it's his passion. If I has a "blanket" punishment, it wouldn't be effective for all of them. Discipline has to be targeted to the individual. Even if the house were full of PCs the consequences should be different because they all are different. Look at carreer criminals. Going to jail is no big deal anymore, actually makes life easier - free room and board. If they're not afraid of the punishment, why would they be afraid of committing the crime?</p><p></p><p>Regarding the "no fair" thing. I recall saying that more than once as a kid for various reasons (from a kid's perspective it sounds like a great argument because kids are always taught to "play fair") My Dad would always bellow back, "Life's NOT fair!" Once I became an adult, a parent, I fully became aware of the reality of this statement. I decided to elaborate it for my own kids.</p><p></p><p></p><p>That's right. Life is not fair. If it were, all the nice ppl would be rich and good looking, and the bad ppl would be ugly and broke.</p><p></p><p>Yeah, while writing it out I realized that exact wording might not work in homes with difficult children and pcs, but maybe someone can come come up with another variation. </p><p></p><p>I know some "progressive" teachers have been posting signs that say "Fair is what you need" My kids' first gifted class teacher tried using this,and all I can say is that I think it's the STUPIDEST thing I ever heard. She did try explaining it, and for some scenarios you can make it work, but it won't fit in EVERY scenario when a kid shouts "That's not fair"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 431534, member: 11965"] See, I would have figured out Insane's scenario pretty quickly because I would just badger the boys with questions until I found the pattern, but that's me. I'm not huge on discipline, but when it's necessary, it doesn't always fit the crime but it fits the person. DD1 LOVES to play outside, so If I have to ground her, she loses outdoor privileges first. DD2 LOVES computer, so guess what she loses first? Son I haven't had to discipline in years, but I think it would be the computer which might just kill him because it's his passion. If I has a "blanket" punishment, it wouldn't be effective for all of them. Discipline has to be targeted to the individual. Even if the house were full of PCs the consequences should be different because they all are different. Look at carreer criminals. Going to jail is no big deal anymore, actually makes life easier - free room and board. If they're not afraid of the punishment, why would they be afraid of committing the crime? Regarding the "no fair" thing. I recall saying that more than once as a kid for various reasons (from a kid's perspective it sounds like a great argument because kids are always taught to "play fair") My Dad would always bellow back, "Life's NOT fair!" Once I became an adult, a parent, I fully became aware of the reality of this statement. I decided to elaborate it for my own kids. That's right. Life is not fair. If it were, all the nice ppl would be rich and good looking, and the bad ppl would be ugly and broke. Yeah, while writing it out I realized that exact wording might not work in homes with difficult children and pcs, but maybe someone can come come up with another variation. I know some "progressive" teachers have been posting signs that say "Fair is what you need" My kids' first gifted class teacher tried using this,and all I can say is that I think it's the STUPIDEST thing I ever heard. She did try explaining it, and for some scenarios you can make it work, but it won't fit in EVERY scenario when a kid shouts "That's not fair" [/QUOTE]
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