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General Parenting
For those with older kids (well, older than 8)
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<blockquote data-quote="wintak" data-source="post: 428414" data-attributes="member: 11938"><p>My difficult child has a diagnosis of mood disorder and severe ADHD which may or may not be correct. If we go on that, though...</p><p></p><p>I've been told how to change my parenting style (which I'm sick to death of hearing) and how to literally walk AROUND this child. I'm supposed to get down to his level (but far enough away in case he gets physical) and have open palms to show I'm not aggressive.</p><p>Use a soft, soothing voice</p><p>Empathsize</p><p>Mirror</p><p>Reflect</p><p>Don't use "cooperation busters" (lines that do not promote cooperation)</p><p>Use contracts (yeah, have tried those MANY times...they don't work with him)</p><p>Brainstorming a solutions</p><p>positive reinforcement</p><p>no negativity</p><p>Model the behaviour I want him to be like</p><p></p><p>I've DONE all this and he's still beligerant (and after being on this site, I'm finding there may be other issues but), defiant as all can be (even told me today I can't ground him because he doesn't like to be grounded....even his 5 year old sister said...Uhm, SHE's the parent, I'm pretty sure she can ground you), mouthy etc.</p><p></p><p>I keep asking WHEN is HE going to have to be responsible for changing. When he was 4, it was...oh, he's still young</p><p>at 5..same thing</p><p>at 6, well, he'll grow out of it</p><p>at 7, well, he's still small</p><p>at 8, I"m like HELLO...</p><p></p><p>So for those who have older kids who have issues...when DO they have to start learning that in the REAL world, people aren't going to get down to their level, speak to them nicely, that people are going to say NO and tell them what to do and such? </p><p></p><p>As I've posted before, I have 2 others who are the opposite end of him and they have needs, too. </p><p></p><p>Thanks</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wintak, post: 428414, member: 11938"] My difficult child has a diagnosis of mood disorder and severe ADHD which may or may not be correct. If we go on that, though... I've been told how to change my parenting style (which I'm sick to death of hearing) and how to literally walk AROUND this child. I'm supposed to get down to his level (but far enough away in case he gets physical) and have open palms to show I'm not aggressive. Use a soft, soothing voice Empathsize Mirror Reflect Don't use "cooperation busters" (lines that do not promote cooperation) Use contracts (yeah, have tried those MANY times...they don't work with him) Brainstorming a solutions positive reinforcement no negativity Model the behaviour I want him to be like I've DONE all this and he's still beligerant (and after being on this site, I'm finding there may be other issues but), defiant as all can be (even told me today I can't ground him because he doesn't like to be grounded....even his 5 year old sister said...Uhm, SHE's the parent, I'm pretty sure she can ground you), mouthy etc. I keep asking WHEN is HE going to have to be responsible for changing. When he was 4, it was...oh, he's still young at 5..same thing at 6, well, he'll grow out of it at 7, well, he's still small at 8, I"m like HELLO... So for those who have older kids who have issues...when DO they have to start learning that in the REAL world, people aren't going to get down to their level, speak to them nicely, that people are going to say NO and tell them what to do and such? As I've posted before, I have 2 others who are the opposite end of him and they have needs, too. Thanks [/QUOTE]
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