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For those with older kids (well, older than 8)
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<blockquote data-quote="JJJ" data-source="post: 428437" data-attributes="member: 1169"><p>Nope, that actually backfires really bad with our kids.</p><p></p><p>TEC is about baskets (A, B, C). A basket issues are the ones that the Adults declare how it will be and these rules are enforced 100% of the time, even if the child has a huge meltdown. But there are very, very few A basket behaviors. For your son, I'd recommend two: 1. Take your medications. 2. No hitting </p><p></p><p>C basket behaviors are when the child declares how it will be. This will be everything else at first. If he goes to school in a punk nightgown and orange rainboots, fine. If he refuses to eat dinner, fine. </p><p></p><p>B basket behaviors are the ones you are currently working on. There is a whole structure to how you choose what to put in the B basket and how to come up with the plan to address it (actually his book Lost At School does a much better job of explaining the steps of Collabarative Problem Solving.)</p><p></p><p></p><p>Please do not focus on what he needs to be doing when he is an adult. His reality is that, right now, he is constantly supervised by either you, his teacher, or a caregiver you have chosen. Everyone can adjust their behavior to match his needs. Only then can he be taught the skills he needs to move forward. </p><p></p><p>Tigger was very wild at 8. He could clear a classroom with his meltdowns. He was definant. He hit us (not 'attacked' us, just random shoves or jabs). </p><p></p><p>He is now 12. He is doing amazingly well. At 8, if it was time to leave the park, I would have to phsyically drag him to the car and sometimes need to call another adult to help. At 10, I would have to walk next to him each step to get him there. At 12, he can go to the park with his sister or a few (carefully chosen) friends and play for hours without a problem (I can see the park from our yard, he's less than a football field away from me.) When I call him to come home, he tells me he doesn't want to, that he is not going to, etc -- all while he walks home as requested (it is just his way of saying he'd rather keep playing). I'm hoping by 14, he just complies without the negative talk lol.</p><p></p><p>Just a couple of questions.....</p><p></p><p>....do you know any birth family medical/developmental history?</p><p>....has he had a full neuropsychologist evaluation? or an autism evaluation?</p><p>....how has his behavior changed since you started the Concerta? since the Risperdal?</p><p>....has he ever tried other medications?</p><p>....how does he do if the schedule has to change unexpectedly?</p><p>....what is he best at?</p><p>....what is the #1 behavior you would change if you had a magic wand?</p><p></p><p>You are not alone. Many of us have walked this path. Welcome to the board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JJJ, post: 428437, member: 1169"] Nope, that actually backfires really bad with our kids. TEC is about baskets (A, B, C). A basket issues are the ones that the Adults declare how it will be and these rules are enforced 100% of the time, even if the child has a huge meltdown. But there are very, very few A basket behaviors. For your son, I'd recommend two: 1. Take your medications. 2. No hitting C basket behaviors are when the child declares how it will be. This will be everything else at first. If he goes to school in a punk nightgown and orange rainboots, fine. If he refuses to eat dinner, fine. B basket behaviors are the ones you are currently working on. There is a whole structure to how you choose what to put in the B basket and how to come up with the plan to address it (actually his book Lost At School does a much better job of explaining the steps of Collabarative Problem Solving.) Please do not focus on what he needs to be doing when he is an adult. His reality is that, right now, he is constantly supervised by either you, his teacher, or a caregiver you have chosen. Everyone can adjust their behavior to match his needs. Only then can he be taught the skills he needs to move forward. Tigger was very wild at 8. He could clear a classroom with his meltdowns. He was definant. He hit us (not 'attacked' us, just random shoves or jabs). He is now 12. He is doing amazingly well. At 8, if it was time to leave the park, I would have to phsyically drag him to the car and sometimes need to call another adult to help. At 10, I would have to walk next to him each step to get him there. At 12, he can go to the park with his sister or a few (carefully chosen) friends and play for hours without a problem (I can see the park from our yard, he's less than a football field away from me.) When I call him to come home, he tells me he doesn't want to, that he is not going to, etc -- all while he walks home as requested (it is just his way of saying he'd rather keep playing). I'm hoping by 14, he just complies without the negative talk lol. Just a couple of questions..... ....do you know any birth family medical/developmental history? ....has he had a full neuropsychologist evaluation? or an autism evaluation? ....how has his behavior changed since you started the Concerta? since the Risperdal? ....has he ever tried other medications? ....how does he do if the schedule has to change unexpectedly? ....what is he best at? ....what is the #1 behavior you would change if you had a magic wand? You are not alone. Many of us have walked this path. Welcome to the board. [/QUOTE]
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