Forget recovery - this blows!

[Robinboots]

Judge is back today. He declined to order a warrant for GFG17, in spite of numerous and continuous probation violations.

Brief timeline: one year ago today, difficult child was put in detention for assaulting me. He spent 3 weeks there, came home for 9 days, then was taken back. He accused husband of abuse, and went to foster care. Took six months to sort that out and difficult child came home. Two weeks later he spent another night in foster care because he was being a doink and we called the police. He came home, about a month later we had a hearing and the next day he went on Risperdal; had another one Feb. 4. Judge was not happy with difficult child.

He's been gone this time for a week, came home for 90 minutes and left again. The judge changed the hearing from June to March 16. Some time today, difficult child broke a window in the garage and took some of his things. The police will do nothing, but went to talk to him. They did not have me write up anything. They said it's my fault, my responsibility, even though I don't know where he is or anything else.

I am done. I am telling the judge, ASAP, that he is on his own and I will no longer provide diddly for him. He needs help, but refuses it. He will not follow the rules. I was likely here when he broke in - what's to stop him from doing it again? In daylight, the front of the house? What's to stop him from further assault?

All I can say is that this is just stupid. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Can't do it anymore.

 

[nvts]

Hey Robin! Does he have a diagnosis? Can you look into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for him?

I'm sorry you're going through this...I think I'm at that "end of my rope" place so I feel for you.

Beth

 

[Shari]

Robin, if I may ask, PM me where in MO you are. There's not much available where I'm at, but I've found some things in other places.

Hugs. I'm sorry. At this point, the juvy's generally just bide their time til 18...it blows.

 

[Robinboots]

Yes, he's CD; might be more, but can't ever get him to go to psychiatrist appts. He missed one in early Feb, the day before court, and another last week when he was gone.

I'm in STL. Thought we had a good judge but, like my attorney says, he's still part of our infamous system. I've been saying for 2 1/2 years that "something" is wrong, but "they" all said he was fine - you know the drill - it's the PARENTS' fault, always, forever. When he was just 16, a year ago, I advocated for an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Nope, they said, nothing wrong with him. When he was just about to turn 17, someone looked at the tests and said, oops, you know what - there might BE something wrong, but shucks, ma'am, it's too late, he'd be 18 before finishing treatment. Bummer for you.

 

[Shari]

Unfortunately, that's what my experience has been too. Too close to that magic number...

I do know a lady who used to work at an alternative school in the STL area. I can ask if she has any suggestions.

 

[Robinboots]

That might be something. Oh, and to top it off, my mom, with whom I've had a very tenuous relationship since difficult child started his cr*p, is once again lying to me about all this. She claimed she hasn't spoken to difficult child, but did this morning. At least once, maybe more. WTH??

 

[timer lady]

Don't let mom bait you.

I have to be honest, while your difficult child is becoming a menace, I'm very worried for you, your emotional & physical health. difficult child knows that he's gaining attention albeit very negative. Your entire world revolves around his "antics". Don't give him that kind of power in your life.

During all this chaos is the time to hang on tight to your recovery. Don't lose what you have gained - however big or small. It simply is not worth it.

 

[Robinboots]

I'm okay. Mostly. Sometimes.

I'm scared all day when I'm here alone, and I'm very nervous coming into the house alone. I jump at every noise. And I'm pretty much depressed, but still functioning. Mostly.

Did get good news today - my husband's CT and bones scans were all clear of cancer, so he doesn't need a re-check until August! Not quite a year since his diagnosis and surgery.