So, I have been contemplating this issue for awhile, and I really need your insight. If someone wrongs you and you choose to forgive them, you do not have to be OK with what they did to you, you have to simply accept it happened, chose to forgive, and move on with your life. Generally you either move that person out of your life, or that person changes their actions that offended or upset you. But what if the person who has wronged you is yourself? What if I am so mad at myself for some of the choices that I have made, in my life, that I feel like I cannot forgive myself? I can accept the reality that I made those choices, but I cannot forgive myself for making them. Those choices hurt other people - and I have so much hate towards myself for it. How do I reconcile this within myself? To make it a bit more clear, this all surrounds familial abuse issues. Choices I made before 13 where I re-enacted the abuse, and then later, letting the abuser take care of Matt many, many times, where he also got hurt. I am trying to write this all down in my book, and it simply takes my breath away how much hate, pure, deep, hatred I have for myself over this. I really never looked at this issue squarely until it was on paper, and I was blown away. It is really amazing, how after 43 years, I now realize the gravity of why so much of my life has not been where I want it - because I despise me. Those choices hurt, deeply hurt, the 2 people I love the most in this world.......one I will never be able to ask for forgiveness from because she is gone.......and Matt refuses to talk about these issues. He knows I am sorry, and yet, really that helps me in no way. I cannot forgive me, for placing him in the care of this family member, not once but repeatedly, all because this family member loved him and wanted to see him all the time. I had already experienced that road of abuse once, I knew better than to let it happen again to Matt. Yet I chose about 10 years ago to forgiven the abuser.