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Forgotten on Mother's Day
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 656276" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>SadMom, I am very sorry. Your story is not unusual. Keep reading. There are some adults who fail to launch and get involved in illegal drugs, bad friends, they get money in illegal ways (very creative and troublesome) and the last thing they think about is Mother's Day. They only come when they need money. Then suddenly you hear from them and they may even try to butter you up and be nice to you until you turn them down (which I hope you have been doing).Why do you let him live with you? Is he contributing to the rent and chores? Is he respectful? Is he drug free in your castle? I personally would have made him leave if he was doing nothing with his life. Has he stolen anything? Assaulted you? Destroyed your property at all? Abused you in any way? If so, in my opinion it's time for him to do it somewhere else.</p><p></p><p>Most parents on this forum are learning or have learned how to cope with having a dysfunctional adult child and yet enjoy life on our own...for ourselves...because we matter too. We can not control our adult children, but we can control how we act toward them and it doesn't help them if we are so depressed we can't function. It just brings us down to their level and I recommend Al-Anon or some professional theapist to help yourself learn coping skills for YOU.</p><p></p><p>Do you have a SO? A niece or nephew you are close to? Anyone else you can spend time wih? A good friend? If not, this is just one day and too much importance is placed on holidays, which cause angst and even suicide. Tomorrow will be here soon and Tomorrow is the First Day of the Rest of your Life, no matter how old you are. And you can decide to make that life AWESOME> You can also go lo contact with your adult kid and only talk to him, even on FB, on your terms. If he posts something you don't want to respond to, don't. I personally hate FB and don't even use mine anymore. Texting is the same. YOu don't have to answer anything. You can wait until you are good and ready...and calm enough to talk to him, and iI'd keep the conversations short.</p><p></p><p>It is hurtful when our adult children are selfish, but we can learn to live a life that is happy and fulfilling without them being a big part of our lives. Many of us are doing well.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 656276, member: 1550"] SadMom, I am very sorry. Your story is not unusual. Keep reading. There are some adults who fail to launch and get involved in illegal drugs, bad friends, they get money in illegal ways (very creative and troublesome) and the last thing they think about is Mother's Day. They only come when they need money. Then suddenly you hear from them and they may even try to butter you up and be nice to you until you turn them down (which I hope you have been doing).Why do you let him live with you? Is he contributing to the rent and chores? Is he respectful? Is he drug free in your castle? I personally would have made him leave if he was doing nothing with his life. Has he stolen anything? Assaulted you? Destroyed your property at all? Abused you in any way? If so, in my opinion it's time for him to do it somewhere else. Most parents on this forum are learning or have learned how to cope with having a dysfunctional adult child and yet enjoy life on our own...for ourselves...because we matter too. We can not control our adult children, but we can control how we act toward them and it doesn't help them if we are so depressed we can't function. It just brings us down to their level and I recommend Al-Anon or some professional theapist to help yourself learn coping skills for YOU. Do you have a SO? A niece or nephew you are close to? Anyone else you can spend time wih? A good friend? If not, this is just one day and too much importance is placed on holidays, which cause angst and even suicide. Tomorrow will be here soon and Tomorrow is the First Day of the Rest of your Life, no matter how old you are. And you can decide to make that life AWESOME> You can also go lo contact with your adult kid and only talk to him, even on FB, on your terms. If he posts something you don't want to respond to, don't. I personally hate FB and don't even use mine anymore. Texting is the same. YOu don't have to answer anything. You can wait until you are good and ready...and calm enough to talk to him, and iI'd keep the conversations short. It is hurtful when our adult children are selfish, but we can learn to live a life that is happy and fulfilling without them being a big part of our lives. Many of us are doing well. Keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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