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General Parenting
foster mom needs strategies - UPDATE!
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<blockquote data-quote="mdaly22" data-source="post: 93868" data-attributes="member: 4281"><p>Thanks all for the feedback. MidwestMom, I had a heart-to-heart with my husband today after he was able to closely observe our 6 year old fs this weekend. husband is a therapist who works primarly with adolescents. He does not feel that this child is a good fit for our family and that he needs to be placed in a one-to-one environment. husband found that fs does respond under that level of interaction. </p><p></p><p>We have decided to contact the agency tomorrow and let them know we need to disrupt this placement. I have kept a behavior chart of when this boys does/does not comply with rules. He himself opened up last evening as I made dinner and he comes from a physically abusive home. He told me his mom lets him do whatever he wants and the he never has rules at home. I believe it! </p><p></p><p>We've been fostering for 4 + years, only taking children whose ages we've gone through with our own children (8 and 4). I never thought about the importance of keeping birth order intact and am shaking my head how this did not occur to me. My own sons were adopted as babies and their is a wealth of information in the adoption world about the importance of maintaining birth order. I am sticking to that from now on.</p><p></p><p>This has been a very emotional decision for me. I keep reminding myself that there are scores and scores of children in need of placement... and it is true that you can't help them all.</p><p></p><p>Mary Jo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mdaly22, post: 93868, member: 4281"] Thanks all for the feedback. MidwestMom, I had a heart-to-heart with my husband today after he was able to closely observe our 6 year old fs this weekend. husband is a therapist who works primarly with adolescents. He does not feel that this child is a good fit for our family and that he needs to be placed in a one-to-one environment. husband found that fs does respond under that level of interaction. We have decided to contact the agency tomorrow and let them know we need to disrupt this placement. I have kept a behavior chart of when this boys does/does not comply with rules. He himself opened up last evening as I made dinner and he comes from a physically abusive home. He told me his mom lets him do whatever he wants and the he never has rules at home. I believe it! We've been fostering for 4 + years, only taking children whose ages we've gone through with our own children (8 and 4). I never thought about the importance of keeping birth order intact and am shaking my head how this did not occur to me. My own sons were adopted as babies and their is a wealth of information in the adoption world about the importance of maintaining birth order. I am sticking to that from now on. This has been a very emotional decision for me. I keep reminding myself that there are scores and scores of children in need of placement... and it is true that you can't help them all. Mary Jo [/QUOTE]
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