Found a file of picoisms

Abbey

Spork Queen
Janet,

Thank you so much for posting this. Do you have a doctor file of it you could send me? Anyone else who has additional ones, I'd love to have them as well.

I do know that Pico's 'angel' still silently lurks the board. ;)

Abbey
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Janet

These are wonderful. Thanks for sharing them with us.

I have to go to class now. But this evening I intend to sit here and take my time reading thru each and every one.

((hugs))
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
If anyone wants a copy of this sent to their email just pm me your email addy and I will do my best to send it.

By the way, did you know that Google now has this amazing feature that allows you to copy over documents, spreadsheets and what not into their browser and then you can access it from any other computer!?! How cool is that! Saved me from trying to figure out how I was going to copy everything from one computer to the other without a cd burner...lol.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Blondie -

Maybe Picos kids would like to have a copy of this to read. Their lives are peppered throughout her posts - and maybe it would help them now to see that even then she was thinking of them.

Just a thought - sounds like they could use their Mom's wisdom even if it's from the past.

Hugs
Star
 

Did-I

Worn out warrior
I just found this one (hoping it would still be there) in the forum archives. God I loved reading Pico's posts. She taught all of us so many things. If I'm not mistaken, I think the anniversary of her passing is just a few days away. No idea how I'd remember that.....


Re: SELF ESTEEM? How do I help this kid!?!?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Too often we think of self esteem as an ingredient in the recipe that makes up a person; like sugar in cookie dough. It's not that simple. Self esteem is not AN anything; not ONE of something; that you can inject or insert or install.

Self esteem. Look at it's pieces.

Self is the center of it all, of course. And our children have a lot of confusion about who and how and what they are as individuals. Their definition of self often revolves around what they think they are not. They are not submissive; they are not wimps; they are not chicken; they are not yah dah yah dah yah dah. All this oppositional and negative definition is the core of their definition of themselves. But where do they define who or how they ARE?

So before we even get to esteem, let's see what we can do to help our kids define self. For a younger child, it can be during quiet time alone, curled up on a couch, watching tv or reading, or hugging in one of those rare peaceful moments between storms and earthquakes.

However, with the seventeen year old you have to approach it totally differently. So approach it like you would if you were talking to a young adult who is NOT your kid. Imagine that you have a young mother move in next door. She has two babies, bad hair, a sweet nature, but no assurance of her value as a valid person. How to encourage her?

A tool that Blondie has used is a "personal inventory". Look at it as collecting data for a resume. You ask the young adult to help you develop a resume workshop for junior high kids. Ask this young adult to write down a list of the characteristics they have that they believe are good, and /or would help someone decide to hire them, admit them to school, or recommend them for a position or office in student government, for example.

The purpose of this is to see if this young person can identify things in themselves that are valid. Can this young woman or man self validate? You may need to help, to suggest starting places.

Example: Hygiene. If your kid is a fanatic about clean hair (to the extent that you would really like to have insurance that covered shampoo!) then list "personal hygiene / clean hair / good grooming. These are valid characteristics and priorities in the work / social / public world. It's not Blarney!

Have the kid, or the neighbor, keep this list, and keep adding to it. Talk about it every once in awhile. This inventory will be a very valuable tool for the young person to build an objective view of themselves; and that objectivity will help them present their assets in future interviews and working environments.

Now, esteem. Esteem is the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you recognize that you're actually an OK person. Now, if you don't know your Self as a valid piece of flesh, there is nothing in the esteem department. Esteem is where you reinforce the value of the characteristics of self that you see as valid. Children learn that they are valuable and valid when they actually hear and feel from their adults that they are being and doing good stuff.

Never tell a kid that he is loved because he is being good.

Instead, tell him that he is wonderful because of the specific thing he did that was good. Example: Fuzz, I am so proud of you for helping the neighbor lady with that yard work. She really has a hard time doing that herself.

Did I say self esteem? no. Did he get some? yep. And he knows that it is valid praise and he actually earned it.

For the teen in the meat market of dating: one piece of advice for the young men.

Always treat a young lady like she is a lady. If it turns out that she isn't, you don't have to date her again. But if it turns out that she is, you will be way ahead of the guys who don't treat her like she is something wonderful and special. And you, young man, deserve to fall in love with someone who is wonderful and special.

End of sermon. Sorry I dragged this on so long!!!
 
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