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Substance Abuse
Found drugs in room after a concert, what do?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 406299" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Robert, and welcome. I agree that the first thing to do is try to keep calm. I know that's hard.</p><p></p><p>I also agree that sitting down with him in a calm moment and having a frank discussion about his drug use is a good idea. I would expect him to be mad about your searches, but it's your home and you are responsible for what is in it. I'm assuming you have not had cause to search before, and I'd point that out to him - *his* choice made it necessary for you to investigate your own home. </p><p></p><p>I think your initial reaction of not allowing him to use the car is reasonable. "Ever again" is probably a knee-jerk response - trust has to be re-earned here and you need to let him know that there are consequences for his actions, both positive (re-earning privilege of earning car use back) and negative (never again using family car). </p><p></p><p>It's hard because 17-year-olds are indestructible in their own minds. They know it all and have it under control. You are going to have to get him to see that coming home (*driving* home) wasted out of his mind is not having it under control. </p><p></p><p>Since he's basically a great kid, I think boarding school may be premature. You want to support him, teach him, guide him to the point where he will hopefully see that his drug use not only puts himself at risk, it puts others at risk as well. There were drugs in *your* home. He was on the road impaired - were there other kids in the car? Would he care to explain to those parents why he put their kids' lives in jeopardy?</p><p></p><p>I think a full drug screen might be in order so you know what you're dealing with. Try to get the lines of communication open with him. Let him know that there are consequences for this choice he's made (grounding, no car, no raves, whatever you think is appropriate once you've cooled off a bit). Remember that *logical* consequences tend to be a bit more effective. Driving impaired? No car. Drug use at raves? No more raves.</p><p></p><p>Part of being a teen is making some really questionable choices. We've all been there to one degree or another. You have an opportunity here to work with him on getting back on track. Maybe some outpatient counseling will help - depends on his response when you have your discussion with him, if he admits to frequent use or if this was an isolated incident (not saying I'd necessarily believe him since paraphernalia would make me think this wasn't so isolated). You know him best, and even though this seems to have come completely out of left base, you *still* know him best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 406299, member: 8"] Hi Robert, and welcome. I agree that the first thing to do is try to keep calm. I know that's hard. I also agree that sitting down with him in a calm moment and having a frank discussion about his drug use is a good idea. I would expect him to be mad about your searches, but it's your home and you are responsible for what is in it. I'm assuming you have not had cause to search before, and I'd point that out to him - *his* choice made it necessary for you to investigate your own home. I think your initial reaction of not allowing him to use the car is reasonable. "Ever again" is probably a knee-jerk response - trust has to be re-earned here and you need to let him know that there are consequences for his actions, both positive (re-earning privilege of earning car use back) and negative (never again using family car). It's hard because 17-year-olds are indestructible in their own minds. They know it all and have it under control. You are going to have to get him to see that coming home (*driving* home) wasted out of his mind is not having it under control. Since he's basically a great kid, I think boarding school may be premature. You want to support him, teach him, guide him to the point where he will hopefully see that his drug use not only puts himself at risk, it puts others at risk as well. There were drugs in *your* home. He was on the road impaired - were there other kids in the car? Would he care to explain to those parents why he put their kids' lives in jeopardy? I think a full drug screen might be in order so you know what you're dealing with. Try to get the lines of communication open with him. Let him know that there are consequences for this choice he's made (grounding, no car, no raves, whatever you think is appropriate once you've cooled off a bit). Remember that *logical* consequences tend to be a bit more effective. Driving impaired? No car. Drug use at raves? No more raves. Part of being a teen is making some really questionable choices. We've all been there to one degree or another. You have an opportunity here to work with him on getting back on track. Maybe some outpatient counseling will help - depends on his response when you have your discussion with him, if he admits to frequent use or if this was an isolated incident (not saying I'd necessarily believe him since paraphernalia would make me think this wasn't so isolated). You know him best, and even though this seems to have come completely out of left base, you *still* know him best. [/QUOTE]
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Found drugs in room after a concert, what do?
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