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Found out daughter is a sexual predator--help!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 497042" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi and welcome. I am so sorry you had to find us. This is probably going to be a long term, very traumatic situation for all involved.</p><p></p><p>PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not just assume your son is not affected/abused. You have NO idea if she has hurt him or if she might. Kids who are this damaged are capable of doing far more than you can even conceive. He has to sleep and it is really really really easy to go and abuse someone while they are asleep. I know partly because my bro would come to my room at night, not for sexual abuse but to hit me or to get me to do things that we were not supposed to do, or just to sit and threaten me. I also know because by the tme I was a teen I would go in and hit/kick him as hard as I could to get back for things he had done to me. I didn't ever start things because I did NOT want to hurt anyone, but I knew that if I didn't give a show of force occasionally then I was nothing but a target for him. I often waited until he was passed out drunk and then would go and beat him black and blue while he was unconscious. Yes, I DO know how bad it sounds, but it was the ONLY thing that kept him from killing me or forcing me to kill myself. It was NEVER done unless he had hurt me badly first. NOT that it makes it any better, just that it was what seemed logical to my young mind.</p><p></p><p>Your son is very much at risk no matter what anyone tells you. Males are FAR less likely to admit to sexual abuse - they have the whole "male protector" identity in our society and it is very very hard for them.</p><p></p><p>I strongly advise you to get an atty to help you and your child. Call CPS and ask for a meeting - they know what is going on and you need to meet to figure out what the next steps are. Do NOT go to the neighbors and tell them how sorry you are - of course that seems like the thing to do but there are legal and financial repercussions and you have got to get legal advice so you don't lose everything you have worked for. I don't know f you wll be sued, but you need to protect yourself. I KNOW it sounds awful to not apologise, and of course you will at some point, but first you have to figure out how to protect your home and son. </p><p></p><p>Get therapists involved. Start a Parent Report (document with all the info about your child organized in one binder) by following the link in my signature) for each of your kids. Make SURE your son is seeing someone. Get a therapist for yourself, and a lawyer, and keep coming here. </p><p></p><p>It really sounds like bringing her home is not going to be a safe option. You must sleep. It isn't possible to keep track of someone 24/7. It just isn't. Not even with 2 parents who do nothing but monitor her. Prepare for that. Speak with CPS and an attorney about your options. </p><p></p><p>I am so very very sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 497042, member: 1233"] Hi and welcome. I am so sorry you had to find us. This is probably going to be a long term, very traumatic situation for all involved. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not just assume your son is not affected/abused. You have NO idea if she has hurt him or if she might. Kids who are this damaged are capable of doing far more than you can even conceive. He has to sleep and it is really really really easy to go and abuse someone while they are asleep. I know partly because my bro would come to my room at night, not for sexual abuse but to hit me or to get me to do things that we were not supposed to do, or just to sit and threaten me. I also know because by the tme I was a teen I would go in and hit/kick him as hard as I could to get back for things he had done to me. I didn't ever start things because I did NOT want to hurt anyone, but I knew that if I didn't give a show of force occasionally then I was nothing but a target for him. I often waited until he was passed out drunk and then would go and beat him black and blue while he was unconscious. Yes, I DO know how bad it sounds, but it was the ONLY thing that kept him from killing me or forcing me to kill myself. It was NEVER done unless he had hurt me badly first. NOT that it makes it any better, just that it was what seemed logical to my young mind. Your son is very much at risk no matter what anyone tells you. Males are FAR less likely to admit to sexual abuse - they have the whole "male protector" identity in our society and it is very very hard for them. I strongly advise you to get an atty to help you and your child. Call CPS and ask for a meeting - they know what is going on and you need to meet to figure out what the next steps are. Do NOT go to the neighbors and tell them how sorry you are - of course that seems like the thing to do but there are legal and financial repercussions and you have got to get legal advice so you don't lose everything you have worked for. I don't know f you wll be sued, but you need to protect yourself. I KNOW it sounds awful to not apologise, and of course you will at some point, but first you have to figure out how to protect your home and son. Get therapists involved. Start a Parent Report (document with all the info about your child organized in one binder) by following the link in my signature) for each of your kids. Make SURE your son is seeing someone. Get a therapist for yourself, and a lawyer, and keep coming here. It really sounds like bringing her home is not going to be a safe option. You must sleep. It isn't possible to keep track of someone 24/7. It just isn't. Not even with 2 parents who do nothing but monitor her. Prepare for that. Speak with CPS and an attorney about your options. I am so very very sorry. [/QUOTE]
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