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Found out daughter is a sexual predator--help!
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 497390" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I think it is hard for people to see girls as sexual predators and also to think of kids that way. I am sure her overall story pulls at heart strings too. Most general people out there think that LOVE is enough. But as you quickly found out LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. In fact there are books called that. </p><p></p><p>Most of us have lived partial forms of your story so we DO get it and that is why you probably hear our passion in the responses compared to strangers who do not know what it is to love a child with such serious issues. It would be wonderful for you to put your head in the sand and listen to them, but you would not be here if you did not have the gut feeling that their responses are underwhelming. </p><p></p><p>I get where the other adoptive poster is coming from , IF there were intensive OP supports and IF your child was younger... that would be one thing. But she is older and she is at a dangerous point. </p><p></p><p>Sadly she is not likely developmentally 15 but legally she is. </p><p></p><p>You both sound like wonderful people, and me being me, I have to think your daughter also has some wonderful points. But she needs protection from HERSELF. she has no clue how all of this could impact her life. She may not be able to have a clue. What the others (cps, docs etc.) dont have to do compared with yourselves.... they dont have to think where she is going to be at age 25. You have a child who could be in prison at that age if you do not do something. Since I view her as totally disabled in this area, she is not only a risk to others but is vulnerable to her own serious problems. I always tell my son's staff, is he is not supervised as is in his plan (24 hour visual supervision) then we have let him down. it is so much work and my son is 15 too, so I have been at this a long time..... but it is what has to happen. IF that is not possible with your daughter, she needs to be somewhere where it is possible. It does not mean you are not parenting her or she will never live with you and there are visit and overnights and holidays etc. still to look forward to. It would kill me if I was at that place (and have been a couple of times) but I know some day I may need to go there. </p><p></p><p>Keep on checking in , I am thinking of you and will be waiting for an update.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 497390, member: 12886"] I think it is hard for people to see girls as sexual predators and also to think of kids that way. I am sure her overall story pulls at heart strings too. Most general people out there think that LOVE is enough. But as you quickly found out LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. In fact there are books called that. Most of us have lived partial forms of your story so we DO get it and that is why you probably hear our passion in the responses compared to strangers who do not know what it is to love a child with such serious issues. It would be wonderful for you to put your head in the sand and listen to them, but you would not be here if you did not have the gut feeling that their responses are underwhelming. I get where the other adoptive poster is coming from , IF there were intensive OP supports and IF your child was younger... that would be one thing. But she is older and she is at a dangerous point. Sadly she is not likely developmentally 15 but legally she is. You both sound like wonderful people, and me being me, I have to think your daughter also has some wonderful points. But she needs protection from HERSELF. she has no clue how all of this could impact her life. She may not be able to have a clue. What the others (cps, docs etc.) dont have to do compared with yourselves.... they dont have to think where she is going to be at age 25. You have a child who could be in prison at that age if you do not do something. Since I view her as totally disabled in this area, she is not only a risk to others but is vulnerable to her own serious problems. I always tell my son's staff, is he is not supervised as is in his plan (24 hour visual supervision) then we have let him down. it is so much work and my son is 15 too, so I have been at this a long time..... but it is what has to happen. IF that is not possible with your daughter, she needs to be somewhere where it is possible. It does not mean you are not parenting her or she will never live with you and there are visit and overnights and holidays etc. still to look forward to. It would kill me if I was at that place (and have been a couple of times) but I know some day I may need to go there. Keep on checking in , I am thinking of you and will be waiting for an update. [/QUOTE]
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