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Found out daughter is a sexual predator--help!
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<blockquote data-quote="kwioake" data-source="post: 497522" data-attributes="member: 13579"><p>Again, thanks for the support (I keep repeating this but you all know that it is so easy to feel alone out here). We had our best friends over last night who know our daughter and their compassion was helpful. We are thinking now of:</p><p></p><p>1) recontacting the lawyer.</p><p>2) going forward with the CRCG (this is a representative from MHMR) --- they will be meeting on our daughter's case mid February (first possible meeting time).</p><p>3) researching long term treatment. unfortunately, there is nothing close to where we live.</p><p>4) contacting a local therapist who has been identified by the state as a sexual offender therapist just to see what suggestions they have.</p><p>5) looking into SSI benefits/whether she may qualify.</p><p></p><p>Our neighbors have moved...pretty extreme. They owned rental properties...one of which is vacant so we are assuming they moved into one of these. Our suspicion is they have their own issues (apart from our daughter) which makes them not want to talk to the police.</p><p></p><p>What I think (not know, but think) is that my daughter was molested at a very young age. She was in a very bad orphanage for six years. This was really not an orphanage but a place in India where mentally ill people, criminals, homeless people, and orphans were housed and it was basically run by the police. From the time we adopted her, the one thing she would say is that she lived in a hole and nobody talked to her or fed her...that is her perception but it doesn't sound pretty. She has been hostile from day one. In India, she spit on me, threw things at me and I had to physically restrain her to stop her from bolting (fortunately she was only 50 pounds at the time). As she has gotten older (and on medications), her fits and melt downs subsided, but the underlying hostility never has. She has always hated herself, hated her skin color, and repeatedly told us she wants another family.</p><p></p><p>I had an epiphany moment last night when i realized that she has never been comfortable living outside an institution. When we first brought her home, she hated having her own room (at the time, my two boys shared a room). She was used to noise, chaos and a lot of children. Beyond everything else, I think her place of comfort has always been this kind of environment which she has attempted to create in our home (chaos and loudness, constant drama). She has never been physically violent but she has done things like punching holes in the wall, urinating on the floor purposely (and years ago defacating), destroying anything we give her (from clothes to a porcelain doll to ripping up photographs to ripping clothes)...She doesn't have a conscience. Her only motivation for behaving has been any immediate rewards/consequences. Whenever I've expressed emotion (anger or sadness), she has never reacted with any compassion/adjustment to her behavior. She has a pattern of being involved in obsessive friendships but then dropping these friends and moving on....no real attachment.</p><p></p><p>We are open to contacting law enforcement...again our fear is it will cost us money (in fines, lawyers) but not result in treatment/placement for our daughter but we are willing...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kwioake, post: 497522, member: 13579"] Again, thanks for the support (I keep repeating this but you all know that it is so easy to feel alone out here). We had our best friends over last night who know our daughter and their compassion was helpful. We are thinking now of: 1) recontacting the lawyer. 2) going forward with the CRCG (this is a representative from MHMR) --- they will be meeting on our daughter's case mid February (first possible meeting time). 3) researching long term treatment. unfortunately, there is nothing close to where we live. 4) contacting a local therapist who has been identified by the state as a sexual offender therapist just to see what suggestions they have. 5) looking into SSI benefits/whether she may qualify. Our neighbors have moved...pretty extreme. They owned rental properties...one of which is vacant so we are assuming they moved into one of these. Our suspicion is they have their own issues (apart from our daughter) which makes them not want to talk to the police. What I think (not know, but think) is that my daughter was molested at a very young age. She was in a very bad orphanage for six years. This was really not an orphanage but a place in India where mentally ill people, criminals, homeless people, and orphans were housed and it was basically run by the police. From the time we adopted her, the one thing she would say is that she lived in a hole and nobody talked to her or fed her...that is her perception but it doesn't sound pretty. She has been hostile from day one. In India, she spit on me, threw things at me and I had to physically restrain her to stop her from bolting (fortunately she was only 50 pounds at the time). As she has gotten older (and on medications), her fits and melt downs subsided, but the underlying hostility never has. She has always hated herself, hated her skin color, and repeatedly told us she wants another family. I had an epiphany moment last night when i realized that she has never been comfortable living outside an institution. When we first brought her home, she hated having her own room (at the time, my two boys shared a room). She was used to noise, chaos and a lot of children. Beyond everything else, I think her place of comfort has always been this kind of environment which she has attempted to create in our home (chaos and loudness, constant drama). She has never been physically violent but she has done things like punching holes in the wall, urinating on the floor purposely (and years ago defacating), destroying anything we give her (from clothes to a porcelain doll to ripping up photographs to ripping clothes)...She doesn't have a conscience. Her only motivation for behaving has been any immediate rewards/consequences. Whenever I've expressed emotion (anger or sadness), she has never reacted with any compassion/adjustment to her behavior. She has a pattern of being involved in obsessive friendships but then dropping these friends and moving on....no real attachment. We are open to contacting law enforcement...again our fear is it will cost us money (in fines, lawyers) but not result in treatment/placement for our daughter but we are willing... [/QUOTE]
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