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Found out daughter is a sexual predator--help!
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 497577" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I am so impressed by how you are handling this. I am glad you have each other to lean on. Great that your boys are older so can report to you anything that happens. </p><p></p><p>I actually am glad, sorry to say this, that if she was to be adopted it was with you. We wonder why sometimes, these terrible things happen, but I can't imagine her with many people who could handle this and get her to a safe place. Maybe this was the purpose of her being placed with you in the long run. I am sure this was not your dream for having a daughter added to your family. My heart breaks for her. She does sound like she has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and you already said that she probably feels more comfortable in a larger/instituational setting. I have read and heard in work shops that this is often true. If there is any chance for those few who are really hurt like this (I suspect it is not as "few" when we look at the world as a whole...how many kids are left to fend for themselves in our world, very sad) it may just be to have them in as "nice" and good a residential placement as possible. Really sad to think what was probably a healthy baby was so damaged like this. And that this is still going on in our world. </p><p></p><p>I am not trying to say this was "meant to be" or anything, just that for me, I get into the why? thing at times. It helps me to look at a bigger picture and if what comes out of this is a girl who would probably have died or lived in a horrific existence for the rest of her life ends up at least in a place where she can have treatment and supervision for life... that is much better. I hope that doesn't sound dismissive. I really mean it in a caring way. I dont know where you are with this, but I would expect that once the shock and going thru the motions to get her into care happens, you may really go through a huge grief process. I hope you can hold on to each other and get through it becoming even closer as a family unit. And we will still be here for you. </p><p>LUV and CONCERN, <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/group-hug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":group-hug:" title="group hug :group-hug:" data-shortname=":group-hug:" /> Buddy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 497577, member: 12886"] I am so impressed by how you are handling this. I am glad you have each other to lean on. Great that your boys are older so can report to you anything that happens. I actually am glad, sorry to say this, that if she was to be adopted it was with you. We wonder why sometimes, these terrible things happen, but I can't imagine her with many people who could handle this and get her to a safe place. Maybe this was the purpose of her being placed with you in the long run. I am sure this was not your dream for having a daughter added to your family. My heart breaks for her. She does sound like she has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and you already said that she probably feels more comfortable in a larger/instituational setting. I have read and heard in work shops that this is often true. If there is any chance for those few who are really hurt like this (I suspect it is not as "few" when we look at the world as a whole...how many kids are left to fend for themselves in our world, very sad) it may just be to have them in as "nice" and good a residential placement as possible. Really sad to think what was probably a healthy baby was so damaged like this. And that this is still going on in our world. I am not trying to say this was "meant to be" or anything, just that for me, I get into the why? thing at times. It helps me to look at a bigger picture and if what comes out of this is a girl who would probably have died or lived in a horrific existence for the rest of her life ends up at least in a place where she can have treatment and supervision for life... that is much better. I hope that doesn't sound dismissive. I really mean it in a caring way. I dont know where you are with this, but I would expect that once the shock and going thru the motions to get her into care happens, you may really go through a huge grief process. I hope you can hold on to each other and get through it becoming even closer as a family unit. And we will still be here for you. LUV and CONCERN, :group-hug: Buddy [/QUOTE]
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