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Found out daughter is a sexual predator--help!
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 498144" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>ditto what SLR said. And as to the not crying, THAT is survival if you ask me. It happens when people die too... I am one who may cry a little bit but then finally will break down and it can be two years later if it is something intense (my grandma dying when I was a young woman was one time it went that long). This is traumatic and you need to be aware that you will NOT respond like a regular everyday illness (and even that results in all people responding differently).</p><p></p><p>Most recently my son had to have a few weeks stay in a psychiatric hospital and at first I felt like I was walking through the motions. Just do what you have to do, buddy..... In a couple of days I started crying and I posted HERE. </p><p></p><p>The tears can feel overwhelming, but they are not. They heal....... so do not be afraid of when they come .... IF they do. This is going to be a long process and you may not be able to let yourself be vulnerable to that until you know things are safe and settled. You ARE a warrior. No one who is heartless works this hard on behalf of any child. It is ok to not feel the same kind of bond as with other kids, birth or adopted... she is not wired to be able to bond. It does not mean you dont love her on some level, but it is just different.</p><p></p><p>I remember reading at some point in my journey about how they have done pet scans and MRI's on kids who come from orphanages and severely abusive situations when they were birth through early childhood. Their brain structures and activity are actually permanently changed. Some look like brains of kids with autism which explains a lot about why some of the most severely affected kids rock, look anxious, make poor eye contact, have language issues, etc. Through a different cause, they may have a similar brain injury. </p><p></p><p>Dont judge yourself, your family or even your daughter. That is a waste of energy in my humble opinion. What happened to her was no one's fault in your world. She is disabled and needs help and protection and you are doing what you need to do. Yes indeed, you ARE strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 498144, member: 12886"] ditto what SLR said. And as to the not crying, THAT is survival if you ask me. It happens when people die too... I am one who may cry a little bit but then finally will break down and it can be two years later if it is something intense (my grandma dying when I was a young woman was one time it went that long). This is traumatic and you need to be aware that you will NOT respond like a regular everyday illness (and even that results in all people responding differently). Most recently my son had to have a few weeks stay in a psychiatric hospital and at first I felt like I was walking through the motions. Just do what you have to do, buddy..... In a couple of days I started crying and I posted HERE. The tears can feel overwhelming, but they are not. They heal....... so do not be afraid of when they come .... IF they do. This is going to be a long process and you may not be able to let yourself be vulnerable to that until you know things are safe and settled. You ARE a warrior. No one who is heartless works this hard on behalf of any child. It is ok to not feel the same kind of bond as with other kids, birth or adopted... she is not wired to be able to bond. It does not mean you dont love her on some level, but it is just different. I remember reading at some point in my journey about how they have done pet scans and MRI's on kids who come from orphanages and severely abusive situations when they were birth through early childhood. Their brain structures and activity are actually permanently changed. Some look like brains of kids with autism which explains a lot about why some of the most severely affected kids rock, look anxious, make poor eye contact, have language issues, etc. Through a different cause, they may have a similar brain injury. Dont judge yourself, your family or even your daughter. That is a waste of energy in my humble opinion. What happened to her was no one's fault in your world. She is disabled and needs help and protection and you are doing what you need to do. Yes indeed, you ARE strong. [/QUOTE]
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