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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 667037" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>There are two parts to my thinking right now over this.</p><p></p><p>My sister needs control over everything. When she has an upcoming vacation she plans hour by hour 6 months in advance where she will go.</p><p></p><p>The other part is with respect to Daphne. She does not want to control you, in general, I do not think. She wants to control you with respect to her. She wants to be able to reject or accept you. And worse she wants to control whether you accept and reject yourself and whether others accept or reject you, and how they think about you.</p><p></p><p>Kind of like G-d. It is grandiose for sure. She must be seeking to repeat what she saw your mother do. She must be trying as my sister did, to gaslight me, to evoke the same sense of isolation, confusion and sense of utter dependency and helplessness we had as children.</p><p></p><p>She does this because she feels this inside of herself, no control whatsoever. It is like the hot potato. She is trying to stun you so that you forget and accept it.</p><p></p><p>She is lost without you. She feels abandoned. She feels bereft and helpless. She feels she has lost a part of herself. Most of all she feels rage. Because you are beyond her control. All she can do is want to and try to hurt you, to punish you for abandoning her. That is what I think. I think there is great envy, too.</p><p>She does not think what you do is inappropriate. She is trying to put you down. She is using whatever she can think of to do so. If she thought you would react to accusations of being a one eyed purple people eater she would say that.</p><p></p><p>She is only copying what she saw your mother doing. She is trying to out-mean your mother.</p><p></p><p>She is crazy mad because you left her circle by not complying with her rules. She is punishing you so that you will come back. And punishing you because you have not. She is exercising what may to her seem like power. (Maybe if you are 9 to 13 years old it looks like power, but she does not realize how juvenile she seems. I think she sounded like one of those cyber bully girls who bullied the girl into suicide. That is what I think of her.)</p><p></p><p>Teen-age brains are not developed. You know that. I will not spell it out further with respect to your sister...but there is something going on there. Something about her lack of self-control, her rage, her lack of insight and her belief that she can control you absolutely...and can determine what you deserve or not. I do not know why I thought of Anne Perry (ask me later if you want) but I did. I will not censor myself here, in case there is a reason.</p><p></p><p>I do not think it would be good for you, Serenity, to ever see your sister again. I fear that you and your your family would be unsafe.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 667037, member: 18958"] There are two parts to my thinking right now over this. My sister needs control over everything. When she has an upcoming vacation she plans hour by hour 6 months in advance where she will go. The other part is with respect to Daphne. She does not want to control you, in general, I do not think. She wants to control you with respect to her. She wants to be able to reject or accept you. And worse she wants to control whether you accept and reject yourself and whether others accept or reject you, and how they think about you. Kind of like G-d. It is grandiose for sure. She must be seeking to repeat what she saw your mother do. She must be trying as my sister did, to gaslight me, to evoke the same sense of isolation, confusion and sense of utter dependency and helplessness we had as children. She does this because she feels this inside of herself, no control whatsoever. It is like the hot potato. She is trying to stun you so that you forget and accept it. She is lost without you. She feels abandoned. She feels bereft and helpless. She feels she has lost a part of herself. Most of all she feels rage. Because you are beyond her control. All she can do is want to and try to hurt you, to punish you for abandoning her. That is what I think. I think there is great envy, too. She does not think what you do is inappropriate. She is trying to put you down. She is using whatever she can think of to do so. If she thought you would react to accusations of being a one eyed purple people eater she would say that. She is only copying what she saw your mother doing. She is trying to out-mean your mother. She is crazy mad because you left her circle by not complying with her rules. She is punishing you so that you will come back. And punishing you because you have not. She is exercising what may to her seem like power. (Maybe if you are 9 to 13 years old it looks like power, but she does not realize how juvenile she seems. I think she sounded like one of those cyber bully girls who bullied the girl into suicide. That is what I think of her.) Teen-age brains are not developed. You know that. I will not spell it out further with respect to your sister...but there is something going on there. Something about her lack of self-control, her rage, her lack of insight and her belief that she can control you absolutely...and can determine what you deserve or not. I do not know why I thought of Anne Perry (ask me later if you want) but I did. I will not censor myself here, in case there is a reason. I do not think it would be good for you, Serenity, to ever see your sister again. I fear that you and your your family would be unsafe. [/QUOTE]
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