Freshman at son's school pregnant by 7th grader at daughters school

[BusynMember]

Isn't that wonderful (not). My daughter knows the seventh grader and says he couldn't care less about the baby, but his mother is going to try to adopt the child. I wonder how disturbed this girl was to have sex with a seventh grader. This is huge news in our town.
My daughter is in class with the boy and my son knows the girl. My daughter said, "Isn't that gross?"
Honestly, the boy who had sex is still a baby himself. I dont know anything about the girl.
Anyway, just a vent and a newsflash on what's going on in my little town

 

[Marguerite]

They're both babies. As for the boy's mother wanting to adopt the child, what sort of role model has she been so far, if her son not only got a girl pregnant at such a young age, but is also not wanting to know about the consequences of his actions?

Marg

 

[Marcie Mac]

I am not as surprised by a 12 or 13 year and a 14 year old having sex, nor someone in the 7th grade not interested in a baby which came about because of it, but am by the automatic dis'ing of the boys mother who is assumed "not a good example" due to her sons actions.

I have been on here quite a few years, and there have been a parent or two whose child got pregnant at I think 12 or 13. And could only think at the time there but for the grace of someone up there go I. Because no matter how much either abstainence or the use of birth control/condums you pound into their heads, there will be a time and place where the lightbulb for remembering what your parents said doesn't go off, but the hormone's do, and they are going to go for it. And at such a young age, who is going to be responsible for this baby and what will happen to it BUT the parents?? Or should it be up to a 12,13 or 14 year old to decide?

Such a mess these kids can make of their lives without thinking..

Marcie

 

[Rotsne]

The number of pregnancies among teens below 18 dropped dramatically, when the department of education here in Denmark introduced mandatory education about sex and related topic in form 4 (agegroup 10-11).

Not only did it manage to keep the avarage age for the first intercourse on 17.5 years which is quiet remarkable in a time where sex are used to sell almost every item and the media speaks of unruly teens, it is also about to wipe out our population because the average age of a mom giving birth to first child is 29.2 years, which have proven to be too old if the number of kids per mom needed to reproduce our population (2.3) should be reached. The total number of people living here have dropped a little for the 5 last years.

They are about to invent sexual education for children in Kindergarten, which actually is hard because it has to be done in a language which kids in that agegroup can understand but they shouldn't be scared.

Teenage pregnancies are so rare that we actually have a documentary called "young moms" running on our TV's.

I believe that information reduce unwanted pregnancies. Not by any scared straight, but showing what it means, so the teens knows where to stop. (We have no anti-hugs and kiss policy in our schools. We have first graders coming into school giving their "girl-friend" or "boy-friend" a kiss. It is actually rather sweet.)

 

[Marguerite]

Marcie, my 'dis'ing' was not automatic.

Of course it could happen - that's why we need to do our utmost to be vigilant and to also try to educate our kids, not only about sex but also about the social responsibility that goes with it. Of course the more determined kids can slip through the net of our vigilance, but the way it read to me, with such very young parents coupled with "the boy says he couldn't care less about the baby," I do not think the boy's mother adopting the baby is necessarily going to be in the baby's best interests, unless the baby's father changes his attitude FAST.

If my son fathered a child at such a young age, and then publicly declared he couldn't care less, I would not be pushing to raise the baby myself; not when I still had such a huge fight on my hands to finish raising the baby's father.

Where you're struggling with a workload, why voluntarily increase it?

Of course, there are a lot of other things to consider; but above all, what should be the focus is, what is best for the child?

Marg

 

[BusynMember]

Trust me, I don't expect a 7th grader to care about the baby. He's way too young. I just thought it was a sad story.
I personally think the baby would be better off in a stable adoptive home than grandmother adopting the baby, but that's just me and I've adopted.
I think I read that in the US the average age is also around 17. We do have sex education, but it varies school to school. I know that my daughter knows EVERYTHING, including about birth control, but we have talked about it at home too. However, she still seems to think that sex is "gross." Good. I hope she keeps on thinking so for a long time (yeah, right)

 

[Marguerite]

It IS a sad story, MWM. I can understand the grandmother's motives - I just don't think it's a good idea, for the baby. Maybe in other cases... every case needs to be looked at separately.

Both those teens will grow up into adulthood knowing that they brought a life into existence at a time when neither of them is capable of giving that child the best start in life. Their relationships with others, with their own children they may have later on, will always bring up the memories of what happened here and now.

And for that child - if the ties are kept close to the bio-parents, unless it is with a household where the child can be given stability, consistency and sufficiency, there is going to be risk of resentment in both directions.

No child deserves that; not the baby, and not the parents of the baby.

I hope that all involved get some good counselling before they make their decisions, so that when they DO decide what to do, they will feel confident in the choices they make.

Marg