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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 410849"><p>As to your first question...I recommend you come up with a glib answer and practice it so it rolls off your tongue. It is hard when you get asked and you get caught off guard. I tend to be too open and not hide too much but when my son was in jail I did not want to tell people that.... I thought of all kinds of responses... and then came up with something about him being off finding himself. </p><p></p><p>As to your friend. Sounds like you are in really different places in your lives right now and that can be hard on a friendship. I too have been through infertility (which led us to adoption). It is hard to remember how badly I felt then because I don't think about it much as I have my two kids who are now both older. But I do remember how obsessed and focused your life becomes with getting pregnant, and I felt a bit of resentment towards my friends who had kids easily.... and I think at times I felt when hearing about some problem "Well at least you have kids". Not really pretty or even reasonable sentiments, but the whole infertility thing makes you feel pretty unreasonable I think. So my suggestion would be to take a break from her, either spoken or unspoken, because you truly are at opposite ends of a spectrum. She is desperately wanting to have a child, and you (I am guessing) are desperately worried about a child. I think as time goes on, you will be more in the same place and can really reconnect. If and when she has kids she will then understand your worry about yours.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 410849"] As to your first question...I recommend you come up with a glib answer and practice it so it rolls off your tongue. It is hard when you get asked and you get caught off guard. I tend to be too open and not hide too much but when my son was in jail I did not want to tell people that.... I thought of all kinds of responses... and then came up with something about him being off finding himself. As to your friend. Sounds like you are in really different places in your lives right now and that can be hard on a friendship. I too have been through infertility (which led us to adoption). It is hard to remember how badly I felt then because I don't think about it much as I have my two kids who are now both older. But I do remember how obsessed and focused your life becomes with getting pregnant, and I felt a bit of resentment towards my friends who had kids easily.... and I think at times I felt when hearing about some problem "Well at least you have kids". Not really pretty or even reasonable sentiments, but the whole infertility thing makes you feel pretty unreasonable I think. So my suggestion would be to take a break from her, either spoken or unspoken, because you truly are at opposite ends of a spectrum. She is desperately wanting to have a child, and you (I am guessing) are desperately worried about a child. I think as time goes on, you will be more in the same place and can really reconnect. If and when she has kids she will then understand your worry about yours. [/QUOTE]
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