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From bad to worse...much, much worse.
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 655542" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>First big hugs of understanding to both you and Jabber. I have been in similar situations with our difficult child. I like you was so very upset, hurt and angry and confused! I've learned some things since much time has passed since those early days.... There is an emotional disconnect in these children, period. They do not understand cause and effect even when time and time again they've gotten the same knock on the head for their poor choices. In my opinion, those are the key words for most of our difficult child children. Emotional disconnect. Things don't go the way our difficult child's want them to go, or more likely *we* don't respond the way *they* want us to and all h*ll breaks lose. Once they are on a roll, there is no reasoning with them. They will not stop until they are ready to stop and once it's over, they act pretty much like nothing happened and they can go on with life. Parents and family members on the other hand are emotionally at their breaking point wondering what just happened and are mourning the "normal" they wish they had in their family.</p><p></p><p>In our family, the violent outbursts have stopped, but words can be just as damaging. In our situation i have to work hard not to get involved in the chaos our difficult child brings to us. There is an emotional disconnect. I won't allow myself to go there any longer. Not saying I still don't get crazy and frustrated, but I have learned that I will not engage and *I* decide what I will or won't do. </p><p></p><p>It won't be long and you'll get there also. It won't be long and you'll say, I love my son but I will not allow him to do this to me or to us any longer. And in your heart you'll learn the more you "help" him the more he will continue on this same path. It's a horrible thing we have to do with our children. They need us so much, yet they won't allow us to help them in a way that they are accountable. Hugs LIL.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 655542, member: 30"] First big hugs of understanding to both you and Jabber. I have been in similar situations with our difficult child. I like you was so very upset, hurt and angry and confused! I've learned some things since much time has passed since those early days.... There is an emotional disconnect in these children, period. They do not understand cause and effect even when time and time again they've gotten the same knock on the head for their poor choices. In my opinion, those are the key words for most of our difficult child children. Emotional disconnect. Things don't go the way our difficult child's want them to go, or more likely *we* don't respond the way *they* want us to and all h*ll breaks lose. Once they are on a roll, there is no reasoning with them. They will not stop until they are ready to stop and once it's over, they act pretty much like nothing happened and they can go on with life. Parents and family members on the other hand are emotionally at their breaking point wondering what just happened and are mourning the "normal" they wish they had in their family. In our family, the violent outbursts have stopped, but words can be just as damaging. In our situation i have to work hard not to get involved in the chaos our difficult child brings to us. There is an emotional disconnect. I won't allow myself to go there any longer. Not saying I still don't get crazy and frustrated, but I have learned that I will not engage and *I* decide what I will or won't do. It won't be long and you'll get there also. It won't be long and you'll say, I love my son but I will not allow him to do this to me or to us any longer. And in your heart you'll learn the more you "help" him the more he will continue on this same path. It's a horrible thing we have to do with our children. They need us so much, yet they won't allow us to help them in a way that they are accountable. Hugs LIL. [/QUOTE]
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