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From bad to worse...much, much worse.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 655598" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>When we push people into a corner with the questions we ask, they are going to come out swinging.</p><p></p><p>I know because I used to do that a lot with difficult child. I still do it sometimes, and this weekend I did it with easy child about his wedding (don't ask). </p><p></p><p>They go on defensive/attack. They can't get us to stop, because we are heck-bent on getting an answer and making our point. </p><p></p><p>We're going to say it, because it's been bottled up for so long.</p><p></p><p>But we aren't solving anything by the great advice and questions we keep asking to push our points so they will "get it."</p><p></p><p>easy child gets defensive, disagrees with everything I say, deflects, and finally starts saying "I don't know." When will I ever learn not to do this? It doesn't result in their instant realization of truth.</p><p></p><p>It just makes them mad and even though momentarily I'm relieved that I "got it all out", very quickly I'm feeling frustrated again.</p><p></p><p>These questions we have burning inside us, why do you do what you do? Why don't you do what you don't do? have no real answers. It is what it is. They are who they are. They do what they do. </p><p></p><p>And it won't change until they decide they really want to change. </p><p></p><p>Unfortunately.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 655598, member: 17542"] When we push people into a corner with the questions we ask, they are going to come out swinging. I know because I used to do that a lot with difficult child. I still do it sometimes, and this weekend I did it with easy child about his wedding (don't ask). They go on defensive/attack. They can't get us to stop, because we are heck-bent on getting an answer and making our point. We're going to say it, because it's been bottled up for so long. But we aren't solving anything by the great advice and questions we keep asking to push our points so they will "get it." easy child gets defensive, disagrees with everything I say, deflects, and finally starts saying "I don't know." When will I ever learn not to do this? It doesn't result in their instant realization of truth. It just makes them mad and even though momentarily I'm relieved that I "got it all out", very quickly I'm feeling frustrated again. These questions we have burning inside us, why do you do what you do? Why don't you do what you don't do? have no real answers. It is what it is. They are who they are. They do what they do. And it won't change until they decide they really want to change. Unfortunately. [/QUOTE]
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