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<blockquote data-quote="Babbs" data-source="post: 290870" data-attributes="member: 3820"><p>Although I don't post much, I've been reading this board on and off for some time and appreciate the opportunty to vent when its desperately needed.</p><p></p><p>I have an 8 year old difficult child whose current working diagnoses are AD/HD - predominantly inattentive type, major depression, generalized anxiety, and rule out Asperger's Syndrome. difficult child has significant social skills issues, written expression difficulties, and can become very physically aggressive (thrown knives at me, fireplace tools, glass vases, punched me in the stomach and face, spit, and bitten all in the past 6 months). We've been working closely with a behavioral specialist who is an ARNP (she's awesome) and a psychologist who has 25+ years experience working with-kids with-significant behavioral problems. In the past two years we've come a long way - but difficult child's violent outbursts are primarily between March and June leading up to the end of the school year and then a summer long visitation out of state with difficult child's father.</p><p></p><p>I had filed a motion with the court requesting that difficult child's father be found in contempt - long story short, ex has refused to provide weekly counseling per the divorce settlement, he refuses to provide Rx medications (says that I medicate difficult child into a state of compliance), refused to provide a summer school program equivalent (per the divorce agreement) and refuses to pay his 50% of uncovered medical expenses unless he tactitly agreed to the visit. And of course, ex denies that difficult child has any of the above diagnosis, so he will pay none of the $5000 of uncovered expenses for the past 3 years.</p><p></p><p>Well, I just got ex's response to my motion - he is representing himself due to financial issues (he states) which I'm sure he expects the court to automatically be sympathetic to him. Apparently, the loss of 7 weeks of summer school and counseling would not be truly detrimental to difficult child's well being. Arg, how many of us know how hard it is for our kids to catch up every fall??!?!! And he had 3 months to arrange weekly counseling, but as of today, ex is awaiting a call back from a psychologist to place difficult child in a weekly adolescent social interaction group - um hello? difficult child is 8 years old with the social skills of a 4 year old - needs to be around typically developing peers! Oh, and ex complains about why such a small supply of medications are sent with difficult child every summer... hmm, perhaps, as I've explained for 3 years, they are class 2 drugs and can only be prescribed for a 30 day supply and my insurance won't pay for the refill until 5 days before it runs out? </p><p></p><p>Oh, and because I'm an Occupational Therapist (OT), apparently I have all the medical training to know and understand what needs to be said and how to coach our minor child into saying what is needed to be said in order to convince any healthcare provider that difficult child is a special needs child with ADHD. Ex apparently has decided to completely disregard three separate psychological reports which are based on direct observation of difficult child in school and in an office without my presence, which are also based on direct IQ testing (25 point spread between verbal IQ and processing speed!), direct testing before and after medication administration on the NEPSY, and reports from both child care providers and four years of teachers reports on school behaviors and performance.</p><p></p><p>And last but not least, I'm apparently suffering from Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome - completely disregarding the fact that MPS patients create physical ailments in the child and target age for children is preschool age. Apparently I divorced a doctor (he has a GED) who can diagnose a syndrome without direct patient contact. </p><p></p><p>So as a result of this, ex is requesting that I have a psychological evaluation, practitioner to be appointed by the court, requesting that he be relieved of summer school and counseling responsibilities because he just wants to enjoy the summer with difficult child, that visitation be changed to increase his time with difficult child, and that he receive primary custody of difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I am soooooo hoping that the judge takes one look at this document and writes off my ex. I have affidavits from both difficult child's psychiatrist and behavioral specialist, emails for the past three years where I calmly ask for information and ex tells me he's going to do what he wants and that I need to go seek psychological help, and a lawyer.</p><p></p><p>What really worries me though, is that I haven't been able to talk to difficult child in over a week - last contact indicated no medications being given, in daycare with babies and 2-3 years (no kids same age group let alone no kids school age at all!), taken to play dates with 4 year olds, allowed to shoot BB guns and paint ball guns at things to destroy them, taken to PG-13 movies (difficult child though Transformers 2 was hilarious - when I asked "is blowing up people and things funny?" I didn't get a response), and according to ex difficult child's "behavior changes drastically when <em> call...more prone to acting out and communication skills revert to a younger child." </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I've tried so hard to keep calm every summer and especially this summer knowing that difficult child wasn't going to get medications, counseling, or summer school. Not being allowed to talk to difficult child is even harder - but listening to difficult child bounce around for 5 minutes and then want to be off the phone to get dessert was even harder. I'm sick with worry after reading this response and so desperately want to belive that the judge won't side with ex on any part of the contempt request - the lawyer's secretary forwarded the reponse via email but haven't been able to talk to the lawyer. And on top of it all, I'm 22 weeks pregnant and my blood pressure is going through the roof and so I'm worried about the baby as well at this point.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I just needed a place to vent and get all this off my mind - I don't know if anyone has good advice that I can follow at this point. I know I have a good lawyer who will take care of things courtwise, difficult child has good medical and psychological care that can help with depositions if need be and has a good team to come back to to help with transition to home, but it still makes me feel helpless.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Babbs, post: 290870, member: 3820"] Although I don't post much, I've been reading this board on and off for some time and appreciate the opportunty to vent when its desperately needed. I have an 8 year old difficult child whose current working diagnoses are AD/HD - predominantly inattentive type, major depression, generalized anxiety, and rule out Asperger's Syndrome. difficult child has significant social skills issues, written expression difficulties, and can become very physically aggressive (thrown knives at me, fireplace tools, glass vases, punched me in the stomach and face, spit, and bitten all in the past 6 months). We've been working closely with a behavioral specialist who is an ARNP (she's awesome) and a psychologist who has 25+ years experience working with-kids with-significant behavioral problems. In the past two years we've come a long way - but difficult child's violent outbursts are primarily between March and June leading up to the end of the school year and then a summer long visitation out of state with difficult child's father. I had filed a motion with the court requesting that difficult child's father be found in contempt - long story short, ex has refused to provide weekly counseling per the divorce settlement, he refuses to provide Rx medications (says that I medicate difficult child into a state of compliance), refused to provide a summer school program equivalent (per the divorce agreement) and refuses to pay his 50% of uncovered medical expenses unless he tactitly agreed to the visit. And of course, ex denies that difficult child has any of the above diagnosis, so he will pay none of the $5000 of uncovered expenses for the past 3 years. Well, I just got ex's response to my motion - he is representing himself due to financial issues (he states) which I'm sure he expects the court to automatically be sympathetic to him. Apparently, the loss of 7 weeks of summer school and counseling would not be truly detrimental to difficult child's well being. Arg, how many of us know how hard it is for our kids to catch up every fall??!?!! And he had 3 months to arrange weekly counseling, but as of today, ex is awaiting a call back from a psychologist to place difficult child in a weekly adolescent social interaction group - um hello? difficult child is 8 years old with the social skills of a 4 year old - needs to be around typically developing peers! Oh, and ex complains about why such a small supply of medications are sent with difficult child every summer... hmm, perhaps, as I've explained for 3 years, they are class 2 drugs and can only be prescribed for a 30 day supply and my insurance won't pay for the refill until 5 days before it runs out? Oh, and because I'm an Occupational Therapist (OT), apparently I have all the medical training to know and understand what needs to be said and how to coach our minor child into saying what is needed to be said in order to convince any healthcare provider that difficult child is a special needs child with ADHD. Ex apparently has decided to completely disregard three separate psychological reports which are based on direct observation of difficult child in school and in an office without my presence, which are also based on direct IQ testing (25 point spread between verbal IQ and processing speed!), direct testing before and after medication administration on the NEPSY, and reports from both child care providers and four years of teachers reports on school behaviors and performance. And last but not least, I'm apparently suffering from Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome - completely disregarding the fact that MPS patients create physical ailments in the child and target age for children is preschool age. Apparently I divorced a doctor (he has a GED) who can diagnose a syndrome without direct patient contact. So as a result of this, ex is requesting that I have a psychological evaluation, practitioner to be appointed by the court, requesting that he be relieved of summer school and counseling responsibilities because he just wants to enjoy the summer with difficult child, that visitation be changed to increase his time with difficult child, and that he receive primary custody of difficult child. I am soooooo hoping that the judge takes one look at this document and writes off my ex. I have affidavits from both difficult child's psychiatrist and behavioral specialist, emails for the past three years where I calmly ask for information and ex tells me he's going to do what he wants and that I need to go seek psychological help, and a lawyer. What really worries me though, is that I haven't been able to talk to difficult child in over a week - last contact indicated no medications being given, in daycare with babies and 2-3 years (no kids same age group let alone no kids school age at all!), taken to play dates with 4 year olds, allowed to shoot BB guns and paint ball guns at things to destroy them, taken to PG-13 movies (difficult child though Transformers 2 was hilarious - when I asked "is blowing up people and things funny?" I didn't get a response), and according to ex difficult child's "behavior changes drastically when [I] call...more prone to acting out and communication skills revert to a younger child." I've tried so hard to keep calm every summer and especially this summer knowing that difficult child wasn't going to get medications, counseling, or summer school. Not being allowed to talk to difficult child is even harder - but listening to difficult child bounce around for 5 minutes and then want to be off the phone to get dessert was even harder. I'm sick with worry after reading this response and so desperately want to belive that the judge won't side with ex on any part of the contempt request - the lawyer's secretary forwarded the reponse via email but haven't been able to talk to the lawyer. And on top of it all, I'm 22 weeks pregnant and my blood pressure is going through the roof and so I'm worried about the baby as well at this point. I just needed a place to vent and get all this off my mind - I don't know if anyone has good advice that I can follow at this point. I know I have a good lawyer who will take care of things courtwise, difficult child has good medical and psychological care that can help with depositions if need be and has a good team to come back to to help with transition to home, but it still makes me feel helpless.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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