Frustrated, Overwhelmed, and Out of Answers!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tycjcj, Feb 17, 2008.

  1. tycjcj

    tycjcj fighting for his rights

    Does anyone know of therapy services that can help with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder? I mean I've heard of occupational therapy, sensory disintegration etc. But I don't know much about them and has anyone had success with the SDI with their child with adhd odd? School doesn't offer much information and it gets so frustrating trying to help ensure that they do what they are required to do and is neccesary for him. There are days when I feel so helpless! I want to help him and don't even know what to request anymore in the IEP anymore. His amin problems are staying on task, turning in assignments, being defiant and pushing teacher's limits, disrespect to peers and teachers. He will just simply refuse to do the assignments that the teachers tell him to do or refuse to get back in his seat when he is up around the room. Any suggestions? He even got suspended from a class because he was laying on the floor under a table and started laughing when the teacher was disciplining another student. I don't think he should have been suspended but....They didn't notify me....They didn't request another ARD.....I requested an ARD for another reason and then my son told me about the suspension...with no instruction I might add!
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Do you live in the US? Each country is different as far as services.
  3. SaraT

    SaraT New Member

    Oh my lord, are you sure your not talking about my difficult child.;)

    Mine used to go under table as an escape to get away from whatever was agitating her. The school tried to physically remove her, needless to say that teacher was fired.

    I had put in place in the IEP/BIP that difficult child could go out of the room to a "safe place" . This was a rug in the office in a spot that was out of sight of other kids, but principal/nurse could see her. In that spot we put her favorite stuffty to do with as she pleased.(I know 14 is a little old for stuffed animals but it helped my then 10 yr old.) Sometimes she would ring the poor stuffty's neck, other times she would hug it and cry. It was just her"friend" to help her calm herself. Maybe the stuffty could be replaced by a favorite object or game. We had a timer that was set for 15 minutes. When it went off, the nurse or other adult staff, would go and check on difficult child and see if she was ready to go back to class. If not, difficult child got 15 more minutes on timer. If still not ready, then I was called to come talk to her.(I only had to be called 2x, both when it was first started.) difficult child still has her safe place, and a go to person, in the office, but not the stuffed animal. Now she just draws or tears up paper. Her go to person is someone she trusts and will talk to. It has helped difficult child not retaliate physically against kids who are teasing her. Going to safe place could be initiated by difficult child or teacher.

    Not sure that will help, but just a thought.

  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    The depression may be fueling the defiant behaviors. Is he on any medications or in outside therapy to address the depression?
  5. tycjcj

    tycjcj fighting for his rights

    Sara T
    He has a safe place. The teacher sent him to his safe place as a form of discipline but not before telling the difficult child that she did not want him back in her class! The teacher then wrote a letter to initiate formal removal of the difficult child from her class. I have requested that he be put back in her class. She has told me that he may return to her class but not before having a conference with him. My point in all of ths is that I feel she is lacking in skills to propersly handle these situations as well as the fact that I do no tbelieve his actions warranted suspension. This is extreme and he was simply under a table and then started laughing inappropriately at a situation. I mean this should be addressed but not by being suspended. Do you agree with me? Please give honest opinion. He is in Special Education and has a IEP/BIP. After being sent out of her class he was sent to his time out safe place and told to read a reading book. The next day he went to the special eduacation room and worked on his spelling. Where was the instruction for the computer class? I just think this is discrimination against him for his disability. Correct me if you think I am wrong because I just want what is best for him. I don't want Occupational Therapist (OT) start problems with teachers if I am wrong but it is just hard to accept this.
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    The safe place should be for calming down, to regroup so he can return to class. It should not be used in a punitive way.

    I agree that laughing inappropriately is not grounds for suspension. Does your school district have a written policy on what constitutes grounds for suspension?
  7. tycjcj

    tycjcj fighting for his rights


    The teacher and principal are saying that he was interfering with the teaching and disciplining oof other students so that is grounds for suspension. The principal has previously told me that he has noticed that difficult child laughs at inappropriate things and I just don't understand why how they should be allowed to suspend him for laughing inappropriately at another student when the other student was being disciplined. I know it isn't right but suspension is harsh punishment for this. How would you address this with the school and what would you do to prevent it from happening again? I have already been told to file a complaint with the TEA but I am trying to avoid this.
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    You didn't answer my questions above about depression.

    FWIW, laughing inappropriately could be a symptom of mania or it could be that he doesn't understand social cues. Has he been evaluated for either bipolar disorder or Autistic Spectrum Disorder?
  9. tycjcj

    tycjcj fighting for his rights

    He is receiving counseling. Autism Spectrum Disorder? Not that I know of. I have considered bi polar but when the school psychologist did the evaluation he did not mention it. The outside dr. that he was seeing did not mention it either. If he had Autism Spectrum Disorder wouldn't it have been found by now if he is 14 years old?
  10. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    A school psychologist is not qualified to make a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Only a board-certified child psychiatrist can make that diagnosis. Either a developmental pediatrician, neuropsychologist or autism clinic at a university or children's hospital is your best bet for dxing Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). What kind of outside doctor is he seeing?

    In terms of the school, our best tactic for addressing behaviors in school is to get extensive outside interventions (both medication and psychotherapy) to help our kids function appropriately in society. The first step, of course, is to get an accurate diagnosis. Only with an accurate diagnosis will you be able to put the proper interventions into place.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ok, so I guess you're in the US.
    The answer to "wouldn't they know by 14" is not necessarily. First of all, schools rarely do good diagnosing. Sadly, the best people are not usually employed by schools. And psychologists aren't always great diagnosticians anyways.

    My son was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder at 11. High functioning autism, such as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and Aspergers get diagnosed much later and are often mistaken for ADHD/ODD or bipolar. Laughing out of the blue, making strange sounds, sometimes hand flapping or other strange gestures, lack of social skills, poor eye contact with strangers, uneven academic performances, strange obsessions, difficulty with transitions (this can cause raging) sensory issues...all of these are symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and they can mimic bipolar. My son, unfortunately, got a bipolar diagnosis first and he doesn't have that.

    But bipolar exists too and neither autism spesctrum or bipolar should or can be diagnosed by anyone at school. I recommend seeing a neuropsychologist (privately). They do intensive evaluations, often up to ten hours of testing. Plus they have no stake in the diagnosis, like the school does (the school wants to give your child the LEAST amount of services and their diagnosis. are often way off).

    Do you have any psychiatric or neurological disorders on the family tree? Did your child have any early speech or developmental delays?
    You may want to do a signature of your entire family, like I did below. The more we know, the better we can try to suggest ways you can get help. I would try to see an outside neuropsychologist at the same time that you are trying to resolve the school problem. Yes, I think it's wrong to suspend any disordered child for such a small thing, but they don't know what's really going on yet and they probably think he's "bad." I totally disagree. You can take it to the Superintendent. What kind of class is this? BD? (I personally don't like labeling our kids as BD). Is he getting serious help for any academic or social skills or occupational therapy issues?
  12. sandman3

    sandman3 New Member

    I have a child with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and this does not sound like your problem, more likely Bi-polar or other mood disorder. (Of course, I am NOT a psychiatrist, which I definitely think you need to have you child completely re-assessed by professionals) The teacher that handled this particular situation is clearly completely incompetent and I highly recommend you go ahead and file a complaint. When I was struggling with my difficult child's school issues the first time, I was scared and lost and frustrated, but finally got really ticked off and called the State Department of Public Instruction, and got ahold of the head of Exceptional Children for the entire state. Told him my issues and let me just say, the VERY NEXT DAY (no joke!), the school administration was running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to make some more "appropriate" arrangements for my child. It was the best darn thing I ever did!! Not only did difficult child's situation get straightened out, the school administration had a, shall we say, "new found respect" for me as the mother. A "safe place" is NOT a place for punishment! It is a place that is offered to the child to allow them a chance to regain their're difficult child should never be forced to go there.

    Keep you head up, you are the best one to advocate for your child, don't give up!