Frustrated

[Valerie]

My son is 5 and in Kindergarten. He does great academically but his behavior is making me desperate. We have seen Psychiatrist & Psychologist. They say he has depression(which manifests itself through aggresion and irritability), he is hyperactive without attention deficit, and he has symptoms of oppositional defiance. Last friday and today I sat in at school and was able to observe his behavior. He was totally uncontrollable. He would not stay in his seat and at times would even run from the classroom. When he is caught he will fight violently. He is currently taking Zoloft. He has tried Stattera which only seemed to increase his aggresion. I work full time yet feel like I cannot leave him at school.
My husband and I are scheduled for some sessions with the psychologist for "parental management". These do not begin until May. I feel like we are doing everything we know how and nothing helps my boy. Any suggestions?

 

[BusynMember]

Hi, and welcome. Your problems, believe it or not, are common among are kids. I have some questions to ask that may help.

1/ Has your son ever had a complete evaluation by a NeuroPsychologist (this is NOT just a plain ole psychologist and it is not a pediatric neurologist either. Many of us have found NeuroPsychs a godsend).

2/How was his early development? Did he speak on time and appropriately? Did he make good, strong eye contact both with family and strangers? Does he have any "quirks"--hand flapping, high vocal sounds, lining up toys over and over again, anything that struck you as unusual. How are his social skills with his peers? Is he particularly precocious and does he speak like a "little professor?" Any extremely unusual advanced abilities?

3/Are there are psychiatric or neurological or substance abuse issues on either side of the family tree? Does he have sleep issues? What causes him to rage? Can he transition well?

4/ Are you convinced that the professionals he has seen so far are on track? Zoloft and Straterra can make kids who are misdiagnosed even worse. How do you feel about the Zoloft?
Others will come along.

 

[tryinghard]

My son was a lot like this in preschool, kindergarten and first grade.

Two things, I wish I had held him back one year and started kindergarten at six and not five. He is now twelve and that is one of my biggest regrets.

Second, his anger and agression was horrible on Straterra. It was very scary. As soon as he got off he was so much better.


I agree with the others and get a NeuroPhysc (spelled wrong I know!) done.

When you ask him why he does this what does he say? Our son did it because the noises overstimulated him and he didn't know how to handle it.

 

[susiestar]

Zoloft was a cause for major aggressiona nd violendce with my son. It did not show up until he had been on the medication for 3 months.

Is there any chance the doctor would prescribe a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic? These usually provide some help for the aggression. A mood stabilizer might help with the other issues also.

Please see a neuropsychologist. They really do a lot of indepth testing.

Lots of us here have success using the techniques in the book, "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. The early childhood forum has ways to make it useful with young children.

Welcome, and sorry you are having so many problems.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[Star*]

Hi and welcome,

What type of activities do you have planned for him daily that would wear him out totally?

It is hard to watch a child at an early age be so angry. They don't even know why they are angry. My son is 17 and he still can't figure out why he is angry.

Strattera did NOT help with anger or depression. It actually made him worse.

The things in the past that have helped us out the most :

Planned activities with LOADS of physical work - going to the park does not count - he needs things moment to moment to help - getting involved in gymnasitcs, dance, karate, something where he is moving all the time - wearing himself out. LIttle league, football, soccer, some type of something.

Also he has not been diagnosed with anxiety disorder but could there be something that happened to him as a younger kid? Divorce, trauma? Did he ever get hit in the head?

These are all questions you will ask when you see a psychiatrist.

And don't get so upset about going to parenting classes - EMBRACE IT - the more help you have from the get go - the better off you will be. If it does turn out that he has CD or ODD - then learning how to effectively communicate with him is essential. It's not a slap against being his Mom or dad - it's a help to the secret language that most of us have to learn in order to deal with kids period -

People are always so quick to be uspet that their "parenting" is under scrutiny - but I said "Heck - the more I know the better off my kid is." and there wasn't a manual that came with him - but there are ways to learn how to deal with kids like ours that can be worth their weight in gold.

Check out a book if you get a chance called How to talk so your kids will listen and how to listen so your kids will talk - even at 4 and 5 - it's information is priceless.

So my two suggestions for a floation device are BUSY BUSY BUSY....and read that book on effective communication.

Hugs
Star

 

[Valerie]

Dear Midwest Mom,

1. No, but I will ask about it.

2.No, he has no unusual Quirks. His development has been normal. He is very physically coordinated. He can be very sweet and loving or he can be a terror.

3. He does not transition well. His dad had ADHD and I am treated for anxiety and depression. No substance abuse. He sleeps well once he falls asleep. He rages about anything he feels is negative toward him.

4. He has been on Zoloft three weeks. I don't see any change, unless things are getting worse.

I called the DR. today to inquire about something else.

 

[smallworld]

How much Zoloft is he taking?

SSRIs like Zoloft can take a full 6 weeks to kick in plus your difficult child may not be at a therapeutic dose. Unless things are getting much worse (which did happen to my difficult child 1 at the 3-week mark), I don't think you've given Zoloft a fair chance to know whether it's working or not.

 

[Hound dog]

You've already received some sound advice. I just wanted to welcome you to the board.

Hugs