Frustrated..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sweetjj, Feb 6, 2009.

  1. sweetjj

    sweetjj New Member

    I know that I dont post on here much..mostly cuz I dont have time! I look around but usually when I am at work and cant always take the time to comment, but I do get lots of good info from all of you here..

    So, as some of you may have noticed by my comments to other thread re: getting difficult child to go to school but here is some background. R just started at our Alternative school at semester time so that he can get caught up on credits and it is easier as far as they dont have homework ect. Well..when R gets into a downslope he either refuses or gets "sick" and cant go to school..this is a cycle we have dealt with forever it seems. We have tried taking things, have consequences and recently resorted to talking to the truancy officer and told him that if he didnt go we would call truancy officer & have him arrested. Anyway..he got sick on Wed..and was truly sick with vomitting and running a fever. Of course Thurs he didnt go to school and even though we talked about it last night he didnt go again today. I talked to him and asked if he felt it was his depression that might be causing this and he thought perhaps it was. So..my frustration right now is that hubby is mad..says we are babying him and letting him use sickness as an excuse to not go to school & avoid the truancy officer. If we take away his things and do other punishments you would with a "normal" kid he rages and our lives are a disaster..

    I called him psychiatrist..they are out of office until Monday..But hubby is mad at me for babying him..which I am not...I told him..what the heck do I do when you have a 6'0 kid who wont go to school..claims he is sick..is crying..ect ect ect...what am i to do while i am also trying to get easy child to school and get myself ready for work and out the door...

    Hubby is at work by 6 am so he isnt home to deal with it..Im just frustrated with hubby right now and tried to tell him well, this is part of the illness and we can get through this too..he just rolls his eyes and says..one more excuse..I know he understands but is just frustrated as well and that is his way of venting I suppose.

    Anyway ladies..thanks for listening to me.. This is really taking a toll on me..I just feel like if he isnt raging, then he is crazy hyper and going ninty miles and if he isnt doing that he is sleeping and wont get outta bed...I just feel very out of control with it all. I am working from 715 am to 6 pm with very short lunches and am just worn out..No time to take care of things re: therapy ect right now. Hubby is busy working, reffing basketball, doing Natl guard..So I know its kinda our fault that we arent more proactive. We take him to his appts and get his medications..but we have realized that he isnt telling his psychiatrist the truth about how he has been doing..We just need to take the time to get with him and tell him ourselves..

    Again..thanks for listening and for this site and all your wonderful words of encouragement.
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sweetj,
    You must be exhausted! That is one long work day! I wish I had a great suggestion about getting your difficult child to school. I've only had to deal with that on a very limited scale with my easy child. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this and that your hubby isn't more supportive. Hopefully talking with his psychiatrist will help. Hugs.
     
  3. sweetjj

    sweetjj New Member

    Thanks for the kind words!! I am sure once work slows down a bit so will life in general maybe???? ha ha

    difficult child somedays seems to get it and some days just doesnt...ugggg :(

    and hubby is usually supportive..but sometimes..uggg...:(

    so can a person say ugggg too much??? :faint:
     
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I can feel your frustration. I wish I knew how to encourage your difficult child to go to school. I don't have an answer for that.

    I do have a suggestion for getting info to his psychiatrist. Can you write down what difficult child is going through, what you are doing to try to get him to school, how difficult child is always either raging, hyper, or sleeping? Include how this is affecting the entire family. Then, fax it to psychiatrist's office. It is something that psychiatrist can read and keep in difficult child's medical file. Do you have an appointment coming up soon that you can then ask to have a few minutes to discuss this information?

    It is so hard to work those long hours and meet get home jobs done. Even harder when you add a difficult child into the mix.

    I hope tomorrow is better.
     
  5. sweetjj

    sweetjj New Member

    great idea andy! thank you..i will start writing these things down and then faxing to dr and maybe we can communicate through email maybe?? My hours are to tough its hard for me to get to his appts to talk to the dr. Usually he is dropped off & picked up by older daughter or hubby.

    by the way.. I love your puppy..we have an all white miniture pomeranian..Such a doll!!
     
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Your pomeranian does sound sweet.

    When my difficult child goes to his therapist appts, I have a form to complete on each visit. I usually write my concerns on that form. therapist visits with difficult child for most of the time and then I join the two of them to go over whatever. That way I also get to work on what needs to be addressed at home.
     
  7. sweetjj

    sweetjj New Member

    great idea!!!

    I will see we can start to do that! THank you!

    can we post pics of animals on here? I know of course not ppl due to confidentiality but pets??
     
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    My picture is just an avatar I chose from the list of available. I don't have the technology or know how to take and post my own pics.

    I think others have posted their pets? Keep in mind that a pet can still be an identifying item to your family. Especially a white miniature pomeranian.
     
  9. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    What if you acknowledged he wasn't feeling well. Then suggested he go to school and if he isn't feeling better to call. Then, you can encourage him to make it one more class. And encourage again. Or simply say, you are sounding so much better I know you can make it. I'll see you after school.

    I had to do that with difficult child. With all his headaches, and pains, and thinking he is going to die he would be home sick everyday. Can't do that in High School. Just cannot. He missed 6 days first semester (sick days) And it was AWFUL to make up. Similiar to missing a week. And he was throwing up. I honestly think he has himself so worried that he makes himself sick. Regardless, he did call from school. He did agree to go to just one more class. He called again. Then pointed out not much time left in the whole day and he stayed at school. Other times I have said I cannot leave to get you now.

    Good Luck
     
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