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Special Ed 101
Frustrated!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 465508" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>I understand (after about 15 years fighting with our school district in IEP meetings) your frustration. I hope your last comment is actually just blowing off steam.</p><p></p><p>But in case it's not (and I can easily imagine that it's not having been there myself) my best advice is to:</p><p> </p><p>take a deep breath, go for a walk, paint a picture - do something to help yourself relax and focus on something else.</p><p></p><p>I also suggest you read everything on Wright's Law about IEP crisis and working with the school district. Along with anything else you can find that applies to your specific situation. <a href="http://www.wrightslaw.com" target="_blank">www.wrightslaw.com</a></p><p></p><p>I don't know what the specific issues are that you are working on but if you can possibly take a step back and get very matter of fact about it all it will help you in every way possible.</p><p></p><p>You have an attorney so obviously you are letting the district know that you are willing and able to go to mediation and/or due process if necessary. </p><p></p><p>If you feel that they are not working with you and your attorney agrees, you can ask for mediation at the end of the meeting. Mediation (been through that and won $20,000 for reimbursement of expenses + compensatory ed) can be VERY helpful. Your attorney should be a good source of info about whether this is true in your case or not. If you have solid written proof of district/teacher misconduct, retaliation, failure to meet obligations in IEP then you have every reason to be confident and matter of fact with them. You have the winning cards if you need them.</p><p></p><p>Having an attorney at meetings sets an adversarial tone and may have made the meetings more strained than they already were.</p><p></p><p>The school district people usually really do believe that they are correct in their assumptions, that they are experts on children and know your child better than you do, that you don't understand the budget and other constraints, etc. They also usually believe that they have everyone's best interests in mind and are sincere in their beliefs.</p><p></p><p>In other words, as a general rule they are not bad people but they are coming from a very different perspective and world view than you are. As you would expect with such a big difference in perspective, communication and understanding are hard to achieve.</p><p></p><p>When they say something stupid, you can just say "that's nice." and go back to calmly asking them questions focused on how THEY are going to solve the problems THEY have been led (through careful questioning) to discover exist that are barriers to your child receiving FAPE.</p><p></p><p>Easier said than done - I know this. But you have the big guns in your pocket. Keep that in mind and let the school see you relaxed and confident if at all possible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 465508, member: 11920"] I understand (after about 15 years fighting with our school district in IEP meetings) your frustration. I hope your last comment is actually just blowing off steam. But in case it's not (and I can easily imagine that it's not having been there myself) my best advice is to: take a deep breath, go for a walk, paint a picture - do something to help yourself relax and focus on something else. I also suggest you read everything on Wright's Law about IEP crisis and working with the school district. Along with anything else you can find that applies to your specific situation. [url]www.wrightslaw.com[/url] I don't know what the specific issues are that you are working on but if you can possibly take a step back and get very matter of fact about it all it will help you in every way possible. You have an attorney so obviously you are letting the district know that you are willing and able to go to mediation and/or due process if necessary. If you feel that they are not working with you and your attorney agrees, you can ask for mediation at the end of the meeting. Mediation (been through that and won $20,000 for reimbursement of expenses + compensatory ed) can be VERY helpful. Your attorney should be a good source of info about whether this is true in your case or not. If you have solid written proof of district/teacher misconduct, retaliation, failure to meet obligations in IEP then you have every reason to be confident and matter of fact with them. You have the winning cards if you need them. Having an attorney at meetings sets an adversarial tone and may have made the meetings more strained than they already were. The school district people usually really do believe that they are correct in their assumptions, that they are experts on children and know your child better than you do, that you don't understand the budget and other constraints, etc. They also usually believe that they have everyone's best interests in mind and are sincere in their beliefs. In other words, as a general rule they are not bad people but they are coming from a very different perspective and world view than you are. As you would expect with such a big difference in perspective, communication and understanding are hard to achieve. When they say something stupid, you can just say "that's nice." and go back to calmly asking them questions focused on how THEY are going to solve the problems THEY have been led (through careful questioning) to discover exist that are barriers to your child receiving FAPE. Easier said than done - I know this. But you have the big guns in your pocket. Keep that in mind and let the school see you relaxed and confident if at all possible. [/QUOTE]
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