Frustration

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Do you ever get tired of the words treatment plan, accountability, non compliant, restraint, therapy, group, abuse, mental illness etc? I know I haven't been around for awhile. Trying to make changes in our lives means I tend to give up on my things or at the very least set them aside. I hate all of this. I hate my need to have to talk to other people with kids. I hate the condiscending looks I get from people. "How are your kids doing?" That question while being well-meaning makes me want to vomit. It is almost as bad as asking me how our house is coming ( we have a fixer upper that is not fixing very fast). I hate the people that are part of DHS that sit in judgement of us. We were just recently complained that we were denying easy child of critical care. So of course they investigated us and our house. The jerk that came walked in without knocking and then things went downhill from there. Needless to say it was unfounded and we can go on for the next few moments. Although in the report I had to laugh. I was so angry with all of the visits they made during their investigation that I just stopped talking. I made my husband handle it. (which is definately not in character for me.) So in the report on the one day it says "Beth didn't speak". I found that so hilarious. I thought to myself at least they couldn't say I said anything "uncooperative" or the like. We provide for all three kids. We do everything and then some of what we are asked. We work with providers from both difficult child's placements. (actually I piss them off because I want information like about doctors and such..for example difficult child 2 was taken to eye doctor and got glasses we knew nothing of the appointment and they didn't understand why I was upset) We get treated like we are defective and yet told we work harder than most of the parents they have seen at their placements and then get crapped on harder. They don't have to be consistant but we do. They can change things in mid stride and we are supposed to adapt. I so just wish I knew who checked up on them. Are their lives perfect that they can dictate so much to us. Do they have people checking on their homes all the time to ensure they are really qualified to do these things. Of course then you have the difficult child's who in placement get to do special things and whatnot (for example difficult child 1 went to see Phantom of the Opera performed on stage) Must be nice to be able to do things like that. Not that I don't want my kids to do things but it seems a little far fetched all of the activities she does. Why the heck is she going to put any effort into her treatment when she knows she gets a better deal there. Like giving her other food options instead of the regular meal. She knows that type of thing won't happen here at home. Oh well nothing I can really do to change this but I just wish that I could win a lot of money and one of the first things I would do is set up some kind of parent advocacy group specifically to help parents with kids in placement. Not people to say just deal with it but make a change in how this is all handled.

    Sorry guess this is a long rant.

    Beth
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Ranting is good; it helps release some of the frustration among those that understand your dilema.

    Things are much more calm at our home these days, but I remember the therapy, treatment plans, yadda, yadda, yadda -- the seemingly never ending chaos having a difficult child can create in one form or another.

    Hang in
     
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I can totally relate to your level of frustration. I hate the chaos that all the treatment plans, in home care, staffings, & such brings into our home.

    I hate the level of intrusion because of antics that our difficult children pull. My home has always been my sanctuary - not anymore.

    Didn't mean to steal your thread - know that I understand. Vent as much as you need - we'll stand behind you! :warrior:
     
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Go ahead, and rant, Beth, you earned it. I hate "do-gooders" who love to intrude on other people's lives. I feel for you.
     
  5. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    I understand how hard it is. I know how they can make you feel. I'm sorry you're being subjected to that. I hope it gets better soon.
     
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

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