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Fuming! LONG
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 70810" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>This is serious. You need to be firm, calm and concise but also very determined.</p><p></p><p>CONCISE is important. Frankly, I do think a big problems is down to your communications being too complex and too long. Use the KISS principle.</p><p></p><p>Whenever I have a long communication to the school (or officialdom) I state in the first sentence what I want and how I want to get it. I try to keep it under a page. If I can't, I try to keep the information organised, set out in point form and where necessary, summarised again at the end. You can thank them for their assistance in advance but you need to emphasise - this is literally a matter of life and death. Also emphasise - failure to comply could leave them open to official enquiry.</p><p></p><p>Here is my suggestion (for future reference):</p><p></p><p>Dear Ms G,</p><p></p><p>I am informing you with this letter that difficult child is highly allergic to the following:</p><p>[then list them down the page].</p><p></p><p>In addition he has recently shown signs of reacting to a rage of other foodstuffs, contents still to be determined.</p><p></p><p>His reaction takes the form of [describe symptoms and signs] which have the potential with further exposures to turn into anaphylactic shock.</p><p></p><p>We are endeavouring to have this investigated by allergists at the earliest opportunity. In the meantime, we require the school to be vigilant to ensure he does not eat anything that has not been provided for him by us, his parents. Please be aware he will need supervision to ensure he does not sneak any forbidden foods. He is also not yet able to self-monitor, so do not rely on the child's own vigilance - it is nonexistent.</p><p></p><p>He does not have problems with eating nuts - please let me know if there is a 'no nuts' policy in place in this school.</p><p></p><p>Please ensure that the information in this letter is distributed to all who are likely to be in a position to need this information. Please also ensure copies of this letter are placed on his file, with the school nurse and with the school principal.</p><p></p><p>If you require any further information, do not hesitate to ask. </p><p></p><p>As more information comes to hand, we will keep you informed.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for your cooperation in this - our son's life could depend on your support and vigilance."</p><p></p><p>A lot of what you originally included sounded like diary entry chat and devalued your man message - as she probably glossed over the 'padding' she may also have glossed over the important stuff.</p><p></p><p>So you cut out the stuff she doesn't need to know, and put in just the vital signs. Think how a patient's chart looks in hospital - you go in to hospital, give your detailed history to whoever admits you, talk for what seems like hours, answer stacks of questions, but when you look at the chart on the end of the bed, where is all that information? It is there, in some form, but boiled down to the bare bones.</p><p></p><p>And when you have a problem, you then write to the school with:</p><p></p><p>"Dear Ms G,</p><p></p><p>I wrote to you on [put in date of original communication] in which I gave specific instruction that difficult child was not to be permitted any food other than what is sent from home. On [give date and brief summary]. I do understand that "accidents will happen", but I repeat what I said in my last communication - accidents like this put difficult child's life at risk.</p><p></p><p>I would like to meet with you at the earliest opportunity to discuss with you what we can put in place to prevent such incidents in the future."</p><p></p><p>The less writing there is on the page, the more the eye is drawn to the words. Therefore - the fewer the words, the greater their impact.</p><p></p><p>A lot of what you wrote - it's useful information for you and difficult child's doctors, but not for the teacher. All she needs to know is that this is life-threatening; the list of things to be avoided; the list of things still in question; you will provide snacks so please inform you when there is an extra need; please watch him because he will try to sneak the forbidden food.</p><p></p><p>I also agree, if you can teach him to guard against forbidden food and WORK WITH HIM to search out fun foods that he enjoys (such as maybe home-popped popcorn?) then maybe he will be less likely to complicate the picture by cheating. The best results come when you can count on the vigilance of the patient himself.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 70810, member: 1991"] This is serious. You need to be firm, calm and concise but also very determined. CONCISE is important. Frankly, I do think a big problems is down to your communications being too complex and too long. Use the KISS principle. Whenever I have a long communication to the school (or officialdom) I state in the first sentence what I want and how I want to get it. I try to keep it under a page. If I can't, I try to keep the information organised, set out in point form and where necessary, summarised again at the end. You can thank them for their assistance in advance but you need to emphasise - this is literally a matter of life and death. Also emphasise - failure to comply could leave them open to official enquiry. Here is my suggestion (for future reference): Dear Ms G, I am informing you with this letter that difficult child is highly allergic to the following: [then list them down the page]. In addition he has recently shown signs of reacting to a rage of other foodstuffs, contents still to be determined. His reaction takes the form of [describe symptoms and signs] which have the potential with further exposures to turn into anaphylactic shock. We are endeavouring to have this investigated by allergists at the earliest opportunity. In the meantime, we require the school to be vigilant to ensure he does not eat anything that has not been provided for him by us, his parents. Please be aware he will need supervision to ensure he does not sneak any forbidden foods. He is also not yet able to self-monitor, so do not rely on the child's own vigilance - it is nonexistent. He does not have problems with eating nuts - please let me know if there is a 'no nuts' policy in place in this school. Please ensure that the information in this letter is distributed to all who are likely to be in a position to need this information. Please also ensure copies of this letter are placed on his file, with the school nurse and with the school principal. If you require any further information, do not hesitate to ask. As more information comes to hand, we will keep you informed. Thank you for your cooperation in this - our son's life could depend on your support and vigilance." A lot of what you originally included sounded like diary entry chat and devalued your man message - as she probably glossed over the 'padding' she may also have glossed over the important stuff. So you cut out the stuff she doesn't need to know, and put in just the vital signs. Think how a patient's chart looks in hospital - you go in to hospital, give your detailed history to whoever admits you, talk for what seems like hours, answer stacks of questions, but when you look at the chart on the end of the bed, where is all that information? It is there, in some form, but boiled down to the bare bones. And when you have a problem, you then write to the school with: "Dear Ms G, I wrote to you on [put in date of original communication] in which I gave specific instruction that difficult child was not to be permitted any food other than what is sent from home. On [give date and brief summary]. I do understand that "accidents will happen", but I repeat what I said in my last communication - accidents like this put difficult child's life at risk. I would like to meet with you at the earliest opportunity to discuss with you what we can put in place to prevent such incidents in the future." The less writing there is on the page, the more the eye is drawn to the words. Therefore - the fewer the words, the greater their impact. A lot of what you wrote - it's useful information for you and difficult child's doctors, but not for the teacher. All she needs to know is that this is life-threatening; the list of things to be avoided; the list of things still in question; you will provide snacks so please inform you when there is an extra need; please watch him because he will try to sneak the forbidden food. I also agree, if you can teach him to guard against forbidden food and WORK WITH HIM to search out fun foods that he enjoys (such as maybe home-popped popcorn?) then maybe he will be less likely to complicate the picture by cheating. The best results come when you can count on the vigilance of the patient himself. Marg [/QUOTE]
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