Hi Malika,
He's very compassionate and understanding. I agreed with a lot of what he said about how society today is almost completely oppositional to how healthy children should be raised. I especially agree with the feeling of impotence he says many parents experience when it comes to "turning over control" to inanimate devices, like phones, tv's, computers, etc. and how little we end up communicating with each other in the long run. Add stress on the family, financial and emotional distractions that consume the parent(s), and you have a volatile situation for most children. Questions arise as to whether THOSE factors cause ADHD, which the Dr. seemed to think they did. He thinks a lot of kids are misprescribed ADHD medications, when it's really a trauma situation going on. I'm not well versed in these things, so I can't say, but that's certainly a unique perspective. If trauma and stress is at the root of all substance abuse, ADHD, etc., then why weren't my mom and her 7 siblings ADHD? They grew up in the Great Depression, they were poor and struggling, enduring daily traumas, hopelessness; their mother died when my mom was 11 y/o, and she had to raise her younger siblings. PLUS, my grandfather moved back to Italy and left the kids to their own devices after his wife died, and the oldest kid was 17. He had to hold the family together. Then all the boys were drafted and served in WWII enduring brutal horrors and stress. Talk about trauma! They all were upstanding citizens and became loving spouses and parents. None of them became alcoholics or drug users or even knew about ADHD. So if trauma causes everything, how did anyone survive after the plague in Europe? Or after the Holocaust? I'm not refuting the Dr. - I'm not even disagreeing with him, but I'm just asking questions.
I have all kinds of questions regarding his substance abuse video on youtube. He doesn't agree with the concept of "hitting bottom" for an addict, and he believes ALL substance abuse is ultimately caused by trauma. I think he thinks detachment is cruel, too. I have a difficult child whose drug of choice was meth. He was adopted at 16 mos., and we had no problems with him at all till he was a teenager, but his rage and contempt toward us was incredible. I know of no trauma in his life, except the fact that he knew all along that he was adopted, it was no big whoop, he has a sister who is also adopted. My question is: What is his trauma? He was raised in a 2 parent, extended family, loving home with all the comforts and advantages a child could want. I did not work outside the home, and his grandparents lived in the apartment upstairs. His paternal grandparents lived 10 min. away. We had friends, a big extended family, no major stress. Our difficult child's psychiatrist said adoption in itself CAN BE considered trauma, whether we think it is or not, even if it's a loving, secure adoptive home. The issues an adoptee wrestles with are internal feelings of abandonment that have nothing to do with adoptive parents. It just comes out in some adoptees, and that's why, according to our psychiatrist, our difficult child got into drugs. Why does our adopted daughter not do drugs, then? Also, if that's the case, why would anyone even consider adoption?
I also got the sense that the Dr. doesn't believe that substance abuse is biological/genetic. He is big on trauma, as I said earlier. He doesn't believe in the criminal justice system when it comes to substance abuse either. He says it's like taking an already abused person, shaming them, and making them feel worse about themselves, when it is really all "society's fault" that they broke the law, because the law is a social construct anyway, and has nothing to do with stopping their substance abuse. So is there no personal liability/responsibility? When a person is on drugs, you can't talk sense to them AT ALL. What exactly are we supposed to do? I don't know...I have to watch it again, and maybe it'll be clearer to me.
