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Gaslighting or Our Fault?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 716962" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Complete and TOTAL Gaslighting! His total overreaction shows it!! The more they act like 2 yo children, the more they are in the wrong.</p><p></p><p>He knew he owed this $$. He knew the terms and due dates. You waited 2 days, not 2 weeks or months. You gave it to him at the first available opportunity. You asked him repeatedly if he was on the right side of this situation. </p><p></p><p>HE always said yes. He could have told you he was behind, that he was late with a payment, that he wasn't sure. Or he could have been a grownup and contacted his PO and asked what to do BEFORE it became a problem. </p><p></p><p>He CHOSE to assume it was no big deal and then to rage and blame y'all. It is time to toss this situation back in his lap. You were very kind to pay priority mail for him, but this is NOT your problem. It just really isn't. Even if he goes on a bender, it is still not your problem. </p><p></p><p>You NEED to let this be HIS problem, and let the consequences be HIS consequences. You cannot fix this, and assuming the consequences for him won't help him because he won't learn anything. I watched my parents go through this, and learn this, and it is so very hard. In the long run, I hope your son can and will grow up and figure out his sobriety and get his act together. In the meantime, don't fall for the gaslighting garbage. Let him figure out how to fix his problems. When he asks why you won't fix them (support him whatever), tell him it is because you know he is strong enough to figure it out himself!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 716962, member: 1233"] Complete and TOTAL Gaslighting! His total overreaction shows it!! The more they act like 2 yo children, the more they are in the wrong. He knew he owed this $$. He knew the terms and due dates. You waited 2 days, not 2 weeks or months. You gave it to him at the first available opportunity. You asked him repeatedly if he was on the right side of this situation. HE always said yes. He could have told you he was behind, that he was late with a payment, that he wasn't sure. Or he could have been a grownup and contacted his PO and asked what to do BEFORE it became a problem. He CHOSE to assume it was no big deal and then to rage and blame y'all. It is time to toss this situation back in his lap. You were very kind to pay priority mail for him, but this is NOT your problem. It just really isn't. Even if he goes on a bender, it is still not your problem. You NEED to let this be HIS problem, and let the consequences be HIS consequences. You cannot fix this, and assuming the consequences for him won't help him because he won't learn anything. I watched my parents go through this, and learn this, and it is so very hard. In the long run, I hope your son can and will grow up and figure out his sobriety and get his act together. In the meantime, don't fall for the gaslighting garbage. Let him figure out how to fix his problems. When he asks why you won't fix them (support him whatever), tell him it is because you know he is strong enough to figure it out himself! [/QUOTE]
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