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Gaslighting or Our Fault?
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 717018" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Oh Albie. This is so not on you! I feel very defensive of you and hubs at this point.</p><p>Even the comment about one final bender, so foolish and so out of your control. So, he texts repeatedly, laying all responsibility on you...again...for his actions and also threatens you with the final bender garbage. Priceless.</p><p></p><p>No truer words ever spoken. I would retreat, not just to save you, but to put a boundary up that says "you can't treat me this way and expect my visits, texts, calls". </p><p>Many times, I suppose it softens it but we tell our son the truth-we can't take his drama, his mess. We tell him we are going to counseling and al-anon and we are tired. So tired. To ourselves we say we are accepting that this will not, maybe never be, a normal relationship. We have to believe and prepare for that. We cannot live "in it" without losing our sanity, our marriage, our health. So instead of just him going down the tubes, we go also...not right. This is all so hard. Prayers for clarity of thought for you. You'll get through this. We are warrior moms...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 717018, member: 20054"] Oh Albie. This is so not on you! I feel very defensive of you and hubs at this point. Even the comment about one final bender, so foolish and so out of your control. So, he texts repeatedly, laying all responsibility on you...again...for his actions and also threatens you with the final bender garbage. Priceless. No truer words ever spoken. I would retreat, not just to save you, but to put a boundary up that says "you can't treat me this way and expect my visits, texts, calls". Many times, I suppose it softens it but we tell our son the truth-we can't take his drama, his mess. We tell him we are going to counseling and al-anon and we are tired. So tired. To ourselves we say we are accepting that this will not, maybe never be, a normal relationship. We have to believe and prepare for that. We cannot live "in it" without losing our sanity, our marriage, our health. So instead of just him going down the tubes, we go also...not right. This is all so hard. Prayers for clarity of thought for you. You'll get through this. We are warrior moms... [/QUOTE]
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Gaslighting or Our Fault?
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