Gaslighting

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Stretchedthin, Mar 21, 2011.

  1. Stretchedthin

    Stretchedthin New Member

    Gaslighting is a term that is used in another forum that I have been in for adult children of people with narcissistic personality disorder. The person keeps telling you that things that obviously are true aren't. You just saw them kick the dog, but they swear they don't know why it's crying. They swear that you did things that you know nothing about. The house is on fire and filling up with smoke, but they say that they don't know what you're talking about.

    Do your difficult child's do this? Mine does. All day. It's like talking to a crazy person or something. I get accused and lied to incessantly. If she does something bad, she insists that I did it. If her plans don't work out, it must be my fault. If I say that it's cold outside, it's hot.

    I find it alarming that she's doing this, day in and day out, at the age of 11. It's not the same as lying to avoid being in trouble. It's a manipulative thing to just mess with your head, I think.

    Is this an ODD thing? Please say it is. I don't need a new problem...
     
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  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Yes - it's also used by those with Borderline Personality Disorder. Honestly, though, I've seen a lot of people with a lot of different diagnosis's use it.

    And, yes, those of us with difficult children are used to the fact that it is always our fault - or someone else's - no matter what they have done to create the situation. For instance - and you will understand - Onyxx failed her temps test, but it was clearly because she had OGT testing all week. Hmm? Hello? No sleep + not studying didn't give her the first hint?

    Yup, I know. (How about - two children - one has been told not to aim toward the house or people - the other is afraid of the BB gun. Two broken windows. But it wasn't HER! It must have been the other one!)
     
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  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Oh yeah......nonstop. It's gotten worse since my brain injury. Now I check in with those who know me well to ask if I would say/do something of that nature.
     
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  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes...this happens in my house quite often. I had it happen to me not a week ago by two people. My son said something that he didnt want me to hear and when I called him on it, he lied to me and said he didnt say it, I didnt hear what I had heard clearly. When I turned to his girlfriend who was sitting not 5 feet away to confirm what he had said, she just went...what...I didnt hear a thing...I was texting! Yeah right. Not a chance...my son was yelling over the phone.
     
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