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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 373377" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hey Flutter! </p><p> </p><p>You know that stupid little jingle thing - a son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life----or is it a son is a son until he meets some money grubbing, backstabbing, makes him think his Momma is the Wicked Witch of the West....she should be blessed with four sons that ALL get girls JUST LIKE HER AND WORSE??.....er.......I mean....What a lovely girl he picked to engage himself to. ahem. </p><p> </p><p>Stupit saying anyway. (except the part I added et al) blinks so innocently. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway - Dude and I have in the past had our knock down drag out GTFO and I mean for good you can leave with just shorts on I do not care if it's 15 degrees out and frost is on the ground GOOOOOO NOW kind of words and he has left, bare footed, nearly teeth in hand....walking. When he has left I swear to you on a stack of readers digest I couldn't at that time or for at least a week afterwards cared about what or where, or whom he was with. Maybe even longer - I don't remember. All I know is that eventually no matter how angry YOU are, or WHAT was said between the two of you that YOU feel is irreparable? Nothing is forever except death. Which brings me to my next point......and it may not seem like it applies to you or anyone else, but somethings in life are just not worth 'it'. </p><p> </p><p>The last time I saw Steven before he burned up in his car? I told him I loved him. I told him I was proud of him. I wasn't really proud of him. (gimme a second)....I was and I wasn't. See...Part of me WAS proud of him. VERY proud of him. He had overcome some ridiculous odds to become a young man I loved very much. He had a learning disability. His bio-parents were and still are drug addicts. He was poor. He had no family structure, no set meal times, no nice clothes, no money for cars, school - No real help. So when his family asked him to assist in the family business and the money was easy? I couldn't be [proud]. He HAD a job working nights in a warehouse, it wasn't much, but it was honest. He had a car - it wasn't great - but it was his. He had clothes - they weren't new - but they were bought with his honest job's paycheck. </p><p>The last time he was here at home? He showed up in very expensive clothes, shoes, hat, in a Cadillac, with a seedy-looking older dude who wouldn't get out of the car - he had a cell phone that he couldn't give me the number to, he had an odor I could describe but didn't. He had quit the "lame" warehouse job, and was making "real" money. My heart sank. It told me so much why he hadn't been around like he always was. Dude knew too - this was why THEY hadn't been hanging around either. Dude hates drugs and anything to do with them....even if it meant not being with his brother. </p><p> </p><p>So when Steven left from "showing off" all the things he "earned" I told him I loved him and he said "Aren't you pround of me?" I said "I am if you are." - I mean Flutter there were things then that I wanted to say that I should have said, that I wish I could say to him now and wouldn't think TWICE....about saying to him shifty guy in the car or not. Now? I don't have the opportunity to except to just say them into the wind while my heart wrenches and tears fall - meaningless tears. I'm so glad that I did say "I love you." to him. </p><p> </p><p>I'm so glad that when Dude came back that night in the 15 degree weather wearing nothing but shorts after I threw him out for the unforgivable things he said to me that I said " I do not forgive you for the things you said to me because they hurt me very badly - BUT I don't ever EVER want to go to sleep with an anger between us so I will tell you that while I can't forgive what you said to me, I do love you with all my heart." and you know what? From a completely dark room, from a completely dark kid - who just hours before had spewed some of the most vile verbage I had ever heard with my ears I heard - I love you too Momma. </p><p> </p><p>You CAN say something like that to D. It's OKAY to be angry. It's okay to be so angry that you blow you lid and you know occasionally you will say things to people that you either don't mean or mean, but say inappropriately because you are just so upset they didn't come out how you meant for them to so you could work on the problem. But......don't ever go to sleep without telling your kids I LOVE YOU. You don't have to forgive what they said in anger - and they don't have to forgive you either - that can be solved at a later time and you can tell them just that.....but make sure they always know you love them. </p><p> </p><p>Just sayin'. </p><p> </p><p>Same goes for friends too - </p><p>Love you </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 373377, member: 4964"] Hey Flutter! You know that stupid little jingle thing - a son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life----or is it a son is a son until he meets some money grubbing, backstabbing, makes him think his Momma is the Wicked Witch of the West....she should be blessed with four sons that ALL get girls JUST LIKE HER AND WORSE??.....er.......I mean....What a lovely girl he picked to engage himself to. ahem. Stupit saying anyway. (except the part I added et al) blinks so innocently. Anyway - Dude and I have in the past had our knock down drag out GTFO and I mean for good you can leave with just shorts on I do not care if it's 15 degrees out and frost is on the ground GOOOOOO NOW kind of words and he has left, bare footed, nearly teeth in hand....walking. When he has left I swear to you on a stack of readers digest I couldn't at that time or for at least a week afterwards cared about what or where, or whom he was with. Maybe even longer - I don't remember. All I know is that eventually no matter how angry YOU are, or WHAT was said between the two of you that YOU feel is irreparable? Nothing is forever except death. Which brings me to my next point......and it may not seem like it applies to you or anyone else, but somethings in life are just not worth 'it'. The last time I saw Steven before he burned up in his car? I told him I loved him. I told him I was proud of him. I wasn't really proud of him. (gimme a second)....I was and I wasn't. See...Part of me WAS proud of him. VERY proud of him. He had overcome some ridiculous odds to become a young man I loved very much. He had a learning disability. His bio-parents were and still are drug addicts. He was poor. He had no family structure, no set meal times, no nice clothes, no money for cars, school - No real help. So when his family asked him to assist in the family business and the money was easy? I couldn't be [proud]. He HAD a job working nights in a warehouse, it wasn't much, but it was honest. He had a car - it wasn't great - but it was his. He had clothes - they weren't new - but they were bought with his honest job's paycheck. The last time he was here at home? He showed up in very expensive clothes, shoes, hat, in a Cadillac, with a seedy-looking older dude who wouldn't get out of the car - he had a cell phone that he couldn't give me the number to, he had an odor I could describe but didn't. He had quit the "lame" warehouse job, and was making "real" money. My heart sank. It told me so much why he hadn't been around like he always was. Dude knew too - this was why THEY hadn't been hanging around either. Dude hates drugs and anything to do with them....even if it meant not being with his brother. So when Steven left from "showing off" all the things he "earned" I told him I loved him and he said "Aren't you pround of me?" I said "I am if you are." - I mean Flutter there were things then that I wanted to say that I should have said, that I wish I could say to him now and wouldn't think TWICE....about saying to him shifty guy in the car or not. Now? I don't have the opportunity to except to just say them into the wind while my heart wrenches and tears fall - meaningless tears. I'm so glad that I did say "I love you." to him. I'm so glad that when Dude came back that night in the 15 degree weather wearing nothing but shorts after I threw him out for the unforgivable things he said to me that I said " I do not forgive you for the things you said to me because they hurt me very badly - BUT I don't ever EVER want to go to sleep with an anger between us so I will tell you that while I can't forgive what you said to me, I do love you with all my heart." and you know what? From a completely dark room, from a completely dark kid - who just hours before had spewed some of the most vile verbage I had ever heard with my ears I heard - I love you too Momma. You CAN say something like that to D. It's OKAY to be angry. It's okay to be so angry that you blow you lid and you know occasionally you will say things to people that you either don't mean or mean, but say inappropriately because you are just so upset they didn't come out how you meant for them to so you could work on the problem. But......don't ever go to sleep without telling your kids I LOVE YOU. You don't have to forgive what they said in anger - and they don't have to forgive you either - that can be solved at a later time and you can tell them just that.....but make sure they always know you love them. Just sayin'. Same goes for friends too - Love you Star [/QUOTE]
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