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General Parenting
Gee, when you allow unlimited access to an obsession
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 148145" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>LittleDude'sMom has some good points, so I won't add anything to that.</p><p> </p><p>I just have to say we have obsessive people in our house, too. For husband, it borders on addictive behavior, and I worry about the difficult child's falling into that cycle with the stuff they are into. As the parent, I have a bit of control in trying to teach self-regulation, addressing medication supports, therapy, consequences, etc. But as the spouse, it's a little more problematic because there's a fine line between enabling and keeping the peace for me. Sometimes I'm tempted to hold up husband to the difficult child's as an example of what happens when impulse control is not in check (like husband's gambling that sapped our finances and put us in debt, so now we don't have the extra money for things difficult child's and husband want). </p><p> </p><p>I see gpa as an enabler, and gma to a lesser extent by virtue of her giving in on the weekends. I really do believe that until that impulse control skill is more solid, you really have to do a cold-turkey cutoff from the addictive/obessive behavior. There is NO middle ground for people with these problems. None.</p><p> </p><p>I guess you just have to decide what you want to do... wash your hands of everyone involved, or put a backup plan in place since things appear to be unravelling with the gparents, like Learning Disability (LD)'sMom said.</p><p> </p><p>Not easy. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 148145, member: 3444"] LittleDude'sMom has some good points, so I won't add anything to that. I just have to say we have obsessive people in our house, too. For husband, it borders on addictive behavior, and I worry about the difficult child's falling into that cycle with the stuff they are into. As the parent, I have a bit of control in trying to teach self-regulation, addressing medication supports, therapy, consequences, etc. But as the spouse, it's a little more problematic because there's a fine line between enabling and keeping the peace for me. Sometimes I'm tempted to hold up husband to the difficult child's as an example of what happens when impulse control is not in check (like husband's gambling that sapped our finances and put us in debt, so now we don't have the extra money for things difficult child's and husband want). I see gpa as an enabler, and gma to a lesser extent by virtue of her giving in on the weekends. I really do believe that until that impulse control skill is more solid, you really have to do a cold-turkey cutoff from the addictive/obessive behavior. There is NO middle ground for people with these problems. None. I guess you just have to decide what you want to do... wash your hands of everyone involved, or put a backup plan in place since things appear to be unravelling with the gparents, like Learning Disability (LD)'sMom said. Not easy. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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Gee, when you allow unlimited access to an obsession
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