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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 639157" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Outside guests may help your PCs to mind their manners little better. (And yes, if you ask me, asking someone if they have lately been arrested in dinner table to 'tease' that someone is really bad decorum and bullying.) If you are not sure if even having outsiders present makes them behave, remind them, that you want a nice and pleasurable evening and dinner and don't accept any childish pecking to provoke their kid sibling. That you invite them in good faith that they are able to behave and be respectful to your home and people living there and that you would not send your difficult child to bully them in their homes either and you expect them to show same grace to him in his home. Word it little more polite, if you will, but it is totally in your right to make it sure that everyone who lives in your house can have a pleasant evening without guests harassing them. </p><p></p><p>Then talk to your difficult child and tell him, that you absolutely don't accept him starting anything and that if he is provokes, you will deal with it and if it is too much for him, he can go to his room. I understand that him hiding in his room isn't optimal for you to enjoy the nice evening, but him being there is very preferable to fist fights, I think. Make sure he does have an option to get away of the situation if it gets too much to him. There is nothing wrong in that, really.</p><p></p><p>If the older siblings start to harass him, do intervene quickly. Make it a joke if you will (tell the ill behaving older sibling to hush and mind their manners, or you have to put them to naughty step or something like that for example.) But do not let it get out of the hand. But probably if you just talk to them beforehand and tell them straight, that you do now appreciate them creating unnecessary drama during the family festive, they know to behave themselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 639157, member: 14557"] Outside guests may help your PCs to mind their manners little better. (And yes, if you ask me, asking someone if they have lately been arrested in dinner table to 'tease' that someone is really bad decorum and bullying.) If you are not sure if even having outsiders present makes them behave, remind them, that you want a nice and pleasurable evening and dinner and don't accept any childish pecking to provoke their kid sibling. That you invite them in good faith that they are able to behave and be respectful to your home and people living there and that you would not send your difficult child to bully them in their homes either and you expect them to show same grace to him in his home. Word it little more polite, if you will, but it is totally in your right to make it sure that everyone who lives in your house can have a pleasant evening without guests harassing them. Then talk to your difficult child and tell him, that you absolutely don't accept him starting anything and that if he is provokes, you will deal with it and if it is too much for him, he can go to his room. I understand that him hiding in his room isn't optimal for you to enjoy the nice evening, but him being there is very preferable to fist fights, I think. Make sure he does have an option to get away of the situation if it gets too much to him. There is nothing wrong in that, really. If the older siblings start to harass him, do intervene quickly. Make it a joke if you will (tell the ill behaving older sibling to hush and mind their manners, or you have to put them to naughty step or something like that for example.) But do not let it get out of the hand. But probably if you just talk to them beforehand and tell them straight, that you do now appreciate them creating unnecessary drama during the family festive, they know to behave themselves. [/QUOTE]
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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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