Getting to the bottom of gossip and lies

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Malika, Jul 1, 2011.

  1. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I've decided to mount a little "counter attack" against my immediate neighbours - the ones who are making our life in the village so unpleasant. Some time ago, the charming man of the household informed me that "everyone in the village" complains about J (I also heard his charming wife saying this to the man who came to install my broadband...). So... whenever I pass anyone in the village that I have talked to, I stop and ask them about this - do they mind my asking, but has J bothered them in any way? They all look genuinely surprised - "no, no", they say, and if J is with me, ruffle his hair or let him swing a somersault in the air (he loves to do this). So then I say that my neighbours told me that everyone is complaining about him - at which they ALL do the same thing: point to their heads and say this couple is "crazy". I passed the deputy mayor the other day, standing on his doorway and stopped to talk to him about this situation. He knew all about it because... she had come to complain to him about me!! Or more precisely, about the fact that when J goes out to play in the village (though sadly he no longer does this), he goes into people's houses... though quite what business it is of hers, if true, I do not know. :) Guess what he said? "She is crazy!" He said he knew how difficult it was but there was nothing the mayor's office could do about personal disputes between people. Though he did say that "for you", he would have a word with the husband, whom he has known since childhood. This is really a closed circuit, though... everyone knows everything about each other. The deputy mayor told me he had "connections" with people in the school and he had been told that J is a "nice boy"...
    This is such a universal response that I am seeing the situation rather differently. We have the very bad luck to be right next to these people, who have given me the impression that the whole village is "agin" us... but I think that is really just a figment of their fevered and rather nasty imaginations. I don't think people in the village are particularly closed or hostile; most of them seem very well-mannered and level-headed. I am sure gossip goes on but I don't think we are singled out as "outsiders".
    So it's comforting in a way - but unfortunately we are still stuck next door to them. Interestingly, their surname means "Turd" in French... :)
     
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad you are finding out that they are crazy and liars and the rest of the village thinks so too. Not sure this would be good in a small town, but I would probably start to mess with their minds. We had some AWFUL neighbors that were really scary in one apartment complex we lived in. I managed to make them scared of ME. I got some black candles, painted some thrift store maracas and castanets black, got out an old boom box and husband's cd of gregorian chants and then on the full moon I would go outside and say nonsense - in latin - and dance around the candles. Told them I was druid. Turns out the lady know someone I went to elem school with and discussed this. My classmate's mother was there and remembered that my father put "druid-orthodox reformed" on some of the forms from elem school and she told them this (she didn't like them and always did like me). She only remembered it because we attended a Catholic elem school. My dad only put it down because he was sick of the same stupid question when our hwole family attended church fairly regularly, but it made a BIG to-do in the church when he put that down.

    I also continued a family tradition that my dad started when we were little. We howl at the moon on the full moon. Never did understand how that started, but he used to do ti with us and with my kids, so I just kept doing it. I think it started wtih my dad as a way to mess with the neighbors and keep us kids out of mischief for a few minutes.

    The upshot was that these druggie neighbors that sold drugs, used them, abused their kids hideously, and the guy even had a bunch of girls he pimped out (NOT kidding), well, they were scared of ME. Little 5 foot tall, looks like a stereoptype of a suburban mom, me had them so scared they would not even go outside if I opened the door to our apartment!! When we ran into each other they wouldn't make eye contact, he stopped making disgusting suggestions, they even stopped playing their hideous music at all ours because I asked them to. Previously any request to turn the music down or off meant they would turn it up and often turn it on in the middle of the night. They complained to the manager and even called the cops one night as I was dancing. The cops laughed and laughed and laughed - esp when I offered home-made cookies and coffee to them. Even more when they realized who I was related to. The neighbors were told that there was NOTHING they could do because it was my religion that I was practicing. Then they said something about not wanting to upset me because I might curse or hex them, or give them the evil eye. (NONE of which I could do, of course. Mostly the cops said that because they were sick of not being allowed to arrest the couple for all of the awful things they did. This gave them a bit of fun, lol.)

    Anyway, if you put your mind to it I am SURE you can find some ways to upset these people that are perfectly legal and will warn them away from messing with you and J. Just be creative. Heck, hand out their number to every telemarketer/mailing list you can find. ESP ones from adult magazines, etc.....
     
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    LOL. Thanks for sharing your story of shock tactics with alarming neighbours, Susiestar. As someone who aspires to leading a Buddhist life, I am not sure I should be encouraging myself to engage in counter-terrorism but I do definitely need to place some kind of boundary down, even if they are only mental boundaries for myself... The husband is, and always has been, very aggressive in his way of speaking to me - he is definitely taking advantage of the fact that I am on my own because NO WAY he would talk to me like that if there were a man around. And I avoid him, because I find it unpleasant and stressful. The more I avoid him, the worse it gets somehow... I need to face my own fear :)
     
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Well first I'm glad to hear the mentality you were worried about in your village seems limited to the nutbars you have living next to you. I've always found that when you have one bad egg like that, the best revenge is living well. I suggest continuing your little chats when you walk about and see people within the village. Perhaps if you take a special liking to any of the older residents and you just happen to be baking a treat (cookies, cake etc) you might pop by their door with J in tow and have your cute little imp give Mr and Mrs X a special treat too. Just to stand out a bit more among the seemingly nicer villagers. Eventually the impression the villagers have of you and your J will make its way back to your neighbors and won't that just tick them off to no end? ;)

    On the other hand I think I'd come up with a few cheerful and witty come backs for the future times that these particular neighbors start in with comments about J. For example, they mention J is doing XYZ, cheerfully say back to them "That's nothing, last night I found him surrounded by the corpses of all the neighborhood cats and dogs and trying to cast spells to reanimate their bodies". Then I'd say Come on J, time to head to the pound to pick a puppy! And bounce away hand in hand ;)

    Seeing as you now know this isn't a village wide feeling towards you and your son, I am betting that it will be much easier to grow more attached to others in your community and to your own neighborhood. I also bet that its eventually going to be easy to laugh at the absurdities that they toss your way. You could always kill them with kindness. You know, pop in to THEIR house with a plate of cookies, J in tow. "Hello Mr and Mrs so and so, I know you complained to so in so in the village that you thought J was doing XYZ. Just wanted to pop by and tell you that you are misinformed so that you aren't embarassing yourself spreading untruths about the village. We also thought you'd like a Smile cookie! (Make a oversize cookie and create a smiley face with icing on it) Toodles! And walk off.

    I think it could be quite fun so long as it doesn't turn mean spirited. And I bet the village would be thinking they've got quite a winner with the addition of you and J in the area, able to take in stride the snarky attitude of the town weirdos you live next to.
     
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the good advice, Mattsmom! Unfortunately, although my French is fluent, I don't think it quite runs to having that phrase run off the tip of my tongue :)
    Yes, I think I have myself "bought into" the idea that we are not really part of the village and have not really taken active steps to integrate. Actually, my next neighbour is a really sweet old lady of 80 or so who has always been very welcoming and civil to us (her daughter-in-law is an assistant at J's school - everything is intertwined like that here :) ) and I would very happily take her some homebaked things except that, to my shame, I do very little baking... Maybe you have inspired me!
    I like your comment that the best "revenge" is living well...
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhh, Mattsmom, ROFL!!!!

    This is such a universal response that I am seeing the situation rather differently. We have the very bad luck to be right next to these people, who have given me the impression that the whole village is "agin" us... but I think that is really just a figment of their fevered and rather nasty imaginations. I don't think people in the village are particularly closed or hostile; most of them seem very well-mannered and level-headed. I am sure gossip goes on but I don't think we are singled out as "outsiders".
    So it's comforting in a way - but unfortunately we are still stuck next door to them. Interestingly, their surname means "Turd" in French... :)

    Malika, the name in itself is revenge! Too funny!

    :rofl:
     
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    The Sur name is Turd in French? OH THAT IS JUST Tooooo Ka ka! malika - I'm roflm toilet tissue off.......

    Seriously!? Could that have been any better?

    I mean POTTY MOUTH? Everything that they say is -----POTTY MOUTH?

    YOU GO WARRIOR MOM
     
  8. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Well it SOUNDS the same (in the interest of strict accuracy :) ) The French for "turd" is "crotte" and their name is "Crot"... J finds it very amusing.
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    That is rather amusing.
     
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