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GFH in custody
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 609070" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>You've had quite the ordeal. And, I'm sorry you did. Certainly all the actual facts were difficult enough to deal with.......... and then when you throw in all the emotions..........well, you've been through the ringer, all of you have. </p><p></p><p>I understand how you feel. This is all relatively new to you and many of us have been around this block many times............detachment clearly has steps, it is a process,.............it takes us time to figure it all out and change our parental responses................you acted out of your heartfelt concern for this young woman who you don't even like and yet you made sure, as a parent, that all the bases were covered, I can relate to that. It can be challenging to separate our kind hearts from our enabling, I still struggle with that sometimes too...........I often lean towards a kinder approach................and yet, sometimes that makes me a slow learner!</p><p></p><p>I hope you don't continue to feel defensive, all of us make our own choices along the way, there isn't a right or wrong way, there really is simply <em>your </em>way. When it's about our kids, I think all bets are off, we love them and we all respond differently to different circumstances. Always follow your heart, we can self correct later. </p><p></p><p>Believe me, we ALL struggle with detachment. You're doing a wonderful job of negotiating through a treacherous landscape where there are no maps and there are pretty constant blow ups which we have to show up for and make quick decisions about. I hope you get some well deserved sleep. Once you're rested, you can pick this all up tomorrow and go from there...............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 609070, member: 13542"] You've had quite the ordeal. And, I'm sorry you did. Certainly all the actual facts were difficult enough to deal with.......... and then when you throw in all the emotions..........well, you've been through the ringer, all of you have. I understand how you feel. This is all relatively new to you and many of us have been around this block many times............detachment clearly has steps, it is a process,.............it takes us time to figure it all out and change our parental responses................you acted out of your heartfelt concern for this young woman who you don't even like and yet you made sure, as a parent, that all the bases were covered, I can relate to that. It can be challenging to separate our kind hearts from our enabling, I still struggle with that sometimes too...........I often lean towards a kinder approach................and yet, sometimes that makes me a slow learner! I hope you don't continue to feel defensive, all of us make our own choices along the way, there isn't a right or wrong way, there really is simply [I]your [/I]way. When it's about our kids, I think all bets are off, we love them and we all respond differently to different circumstances. Always follow your heart, we can self correct later. Believe me, we ALL struggle with detachment. You're doing a wonderful job of negotiating through a treacherous landscape where there are no maps and there are pretty constant blow ups which we have to show up for and make quick decisions about. I hope you get some well deserved sleep. Once you're rested, you can pick this all up tomorrow and go from there............... [/QUOTE]
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