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Substance Abuse
Girlfriends past drug use.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627493" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm just thinking that it's perhaps not a very good match. I tell my kids pretty much everything I've done and, although it does not include drugs, it is an honest picture of me so that they know me then as they do now and I do use it for lesson teaching. I think it's better not to lie to your kids about anything...things have a way of coming back anyway.</p><p></p><p>I think maybe you should rethink your relationship. I think that once somebody is no longer using drugs, it is the past. I also find it troubling that she still hangs with drug addicts though. All in all, no matter how much you love her, think it over carefully...this won't go away and may not be a good match for either of you.</p><p></p><p>If you want the future mother of your children to never have used drugs and can't get the idea that this one did and isn't ashamed of it out of your head, I think it is probably best for you to find somebody who never used drugs so that there is nothing in her background to tell your kids and you will have somebody who is more in sync with your own value system.</p><p></p><p>My daughter quit using drugs some ten years ago, but never says she was ashamed of herself for doing it. She had her reasons and all of us have moved past it. She felt she grew stronger having overcome it.</p><p></p><p>I would ask one question though. Were you a young man who ran around messing around with different women a lot? If so, should she be ashamed of you for that and unable to believe you will be faithful to her?</p><p></p><p>You can not control another person. You can not make her ashamed because she went through some wild times. It is not within your power to make her ashamed nor should you want to. Instead, you should be proud that she is the person she is TODAY. I think you should let her leave so she can find somebody who accepts her.</p><p></p><p>I deal in the present.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627493, member: 1550"] I'm just thinking that it's perhaps not a very good match. I tell my kids pretty much everything I've done and, although it does not include drugs, it is an honest picture of me so that they know me then as they do now and I do use it for lesson teaching. I think it's better not to lie to your kids about anything...things have a way of coming back anyway. I think maybe you should rethink your relationship. I think that once somebody is no longer using drugs, it is the past. I also find it troubling that she still hangs with drug addicts though. All in all, no matter how much you love her, think it over carefully...this won't go away and may not be a good match for either of you. If you want the future mother of your children to never have used drugs and can't get the idea that this one did and isn't ashamed of it out of your head, I think it is probably best for you to find somebody who never used drugs so that there is nothing in her background to tell your kids and you will have somebody who is more in sync with your own value system. My daughter quit using drugs some ten years ago, but never says she was ashamed of herself for doing it. She had her reasons and all of us have moved past it. She felt she grew stronger having overcome it. I would ask one question though. Were you a young man who ran around messing around with different women a lot? If so, should she be ashamed of you for that and unable to believe you will be faithful to her? You can not control another person. You can not make her ashamed because she went through some wild times. It is not within your power to make her ashamed nor should you want to. Instead, you should be proud that she is the person she is TODAY. I think you should let her leave so she can find somebody who accepts her. I deal in the present. [/QUOTE]
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