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Give difficult child grandpa's watch or not to? About trust and self-preservation
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 562541" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have not read responses, and I actually don't see the option I would choose on your poll. </p><p></p><p>I would give him a watch if that is the traditional thing, or something of similar value that he would like and appreciate. I would NOT under ANY circumstances, give him your grandfather's watch.</p><p></p><p>Why? That watch means a great deal to you but in all probability would mean a whole lot less to him. Then you would add on the constant worry over if he pawned it or sold it or lost it, and devastation when you are 'pretty sure' that he did and worse if you get confirmation that he no longer has the watch or has destroyed it. If he had a close bond with your grandfather, I would maybe have a different answer, but I don't get the impression that your difficult child knew your grandfather well. Many kids today do not have a clue what these heirlooms mean to us. </p><p></p><p>Your family has more than enough going on and there is absolutely zero need to set yourself and the family, esp difficult child, up for the conflama to follow if he is given his grandfather's watch. he won't truly be able to appreciate it for quite a while to come. I do think at some time he will value it, but I would wait until he was in his late twenties or even early-mid thirties. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if I would give it to easy child for his graduation. I am sure that difficult child knows it has traditionally gone to the first born, and it was his namesake's, and that name is engraved on it. Giving it to easy child might be setting the boys up for long term sibling rivalry issues. They don't need to add this to their relationship, and even if difficult child thinks and/or says that he doesn't care if easy child gets the watch, there is no guarantee that he might not resent it later. It could become part of a "mom loved you best" sort of conflama. </p><p></p><p>Of course you cannot live according to what might happen, but there is no sense courting trouble. Given the engraving about being the first born son, I really think that it could be a slap in the face to difficult child if easy child gets the watch for graduation. difficult child could very likely see that as saying that he isn't good enough to be the first born son or other mistaken but painful things.</p><p></p><p>Go with a nice watch or buy a savings bond or cd with the money so that in a few years he can choose what to do with that money. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, why don't YOU wear and enjoy the watch? Sure it is a man's watch, but it also could be a nice accessory. Maybe an awesome accessory because each time you see the watch you will smile and some part of your brain will think of your grandpa. Only the very best accessories put that loving smile on our faces and nothing is prettier than that smile. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 562541, member: 1233"] I have not read responses, and I actually don't see the option I would choose on your poll. I would give him a watch if that is the traditional thing, or something of similar value that he would like and appreciate. I would NOT under ANY circumstances, give him your grandfather's watch. Why? That watch means a great deal to you but in all probability would mean a whole lot less to him. Then you would add on the constant worry over if he pawned it or sold it or lost it, and devastation when you are 'pretty sure' that he did and worse if you get confirmation that he no longer has the watch or has destroyed it. If he had a close bond with your grandfather, I would maybe have a different answer, but I don't get the impression that your difficult child knew your grandfather well. Many kids today do not have a clue what these heirlooms mean to us. Your family has more than enough going on and there is absolutely zero need to set yourself and the family, esp difficult child, up for the conflama to follow if he is given his grandfather's watch. he won't truly be able to appreciate it for quite a while to come. I do think at some time he will value it, but I would wait until he was in his late twenties or even early-mid thirties. I don't know if I would give it to easy child for his graduation. I am sure that difficult child knows it has traditionally gone to the first born, and it was his namesake's, and that name is engraved on it. Giving it to easy child might be setting the boys up for long term sibling rivalry issues. They don't need to add this to their relationship, and even if difficult child thinks and/or says that he doesn't care if easy child gets the watch, there is no guarantee that he might not resent it later. It could become part of a "mom loved you best" sort of conflama. Of course you cannot live according to what might happen, but there is no sense courting trouble. Given the engraving about being the first born son, I really think that it could be a slap in the face to difficult child if easy child gets the watch for graduation. difficult child could very likely see that as saying that he isn't good enough to be the first born son or other mistaken but painful things. Go with a nice watch or buy a savings bond or cd with the money so that in a few years he can choose what to do with that money. In the meantime, why don't YOU wear and enjoy the watch? Sure it is a man's watch, but it also could be a nice accessory. Maybe an awesome accessory because each time you see the watch you will smile and some part of your brain will think of your grandpa. Only the very best accessories put that loving smile on our faces and nothing is prettier than that smile. I hope this helps. [/QUOTE]
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Give difficult child grandpa's watch or not to? About trust and self-preservation
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