glad I found you folks

[naturelover]

Hello all! This is my response to my husband's suggestion to find a counselor-join an online support forum. Well, the short of the long is my son is 15, ADD, ODD, and possibly manic bi-polar. I, like so many of you from what I have read so far, am at my whit's end. My son has been to court 3x's so far this year and we are going for #4 with a possession charge (pot) and more theft. Believe it or not, my biggest issue is dealing with him without causing mental upset to his 8 year old brother. Thank goodness the two are as different as night and day, but it does make it difficult to keep things from spilling onto the younger one. The eldest will more than likely do time in the juvenile Difficult Child this go around and while that is not the picture I had in mind when I had him, I have to be honest and say that I am looking forward to the peace and quiet. I will not have to lock everything up with the pad locks like I do now when I go to work. I will not have to wonder if he stayed in school or if I will get a phone call at work because he is MIA. I will not get threatened nor will the little one and I have to endure the verbal abuse that seems to be a daily thing around here.
It is nice to see so many posts from parents that have also done the years of counseling, therapy, drugs, intervention, legal involvement, and whatnot. I feel as though I can finally talk to someone who truly understands where I am coming from. I look forward to using my new found sounding board while satisfying the part of me that wants to help others by responding to some of your posts.
Thank you!

 

[mstang67chic]

I don't normally post on the Substance Abuse forum but check in from time to time. I just wanted to welcome you to the board.

We're sorry you had to find us but glad you did. This place really is a soft place to land!

 

[everywoman]

Welcome to a mom who has been there done that and survived. While it may not seem like you will, eventually you will. You seemed to have already mastered detachment. That is the key to living through it all. Mine was gone for a while, and my life was so peaceful. He's now twenty, and although still a difficult child, he is functioning much better. Glad to see you've found a place to speak. It helps a lot!!!

 

[DDD]

I only have time to offer a quick welcome but others will be along after the holiday weekend. For some strange reason most of us have not been in crisis mode lately so this forum appears stagnant. With difficult child's there is no such thing as extended stagnant...lol. Like you we practice the art of detachment to save our sanity.

You'll be glad you found us. We all are glad you did even if you aren't getting many responses right now. Welcome. DDD

 

[So Tired]

Just popping in to say "welcome to the neighborhood". It sure sounds like you are at the end of your rope (patience?)

I totally understand the utter exhaustion that comes from the constant upheaval of home life and the daily verbal abuse. It can sure wear you down! Feel free to vent here -- we understand the frustration....

 

[stop the merry-go-round]

Hi, I am new here as of about 5 minutes ago. I found this site, but didn't see anything to help me until I came to this "section". I have been desperate for someone who understands, to talk to. I have been dealing with my difficult child's extreme behaviour since he was 12ish. It is a long story and it has been a long journey to "here".
I took my life back when he was 16 and finally kicked him out. It was my only choice, because of his younger brothers. Otherwise, I may have continued to battle it out. I don't regret it, I am just sad that it had to come to that.
After a year on the street (more or less) he finally had enough and agreed to go to the treatment program I found. (I live in Ontario, Canada there are not many options here!) It is costing a small fortune, I had to get a loan and will spend the rest of my life paying it back, but if it gives me my son back, it will be worth it! He has been there for 9 weeks now and I am seeing progress. I don't know if this will turn things around but it is my "last ditch" effort and I am cautiously hopeful.
In the meantime, my other 2 son's and I have been able to "rebuild".
I encourage anyone considering kicking thier difficult child out, do it and do it without guilt! There comes a time when they (difficult child's) have to face it on thier own. We have to stop being thier "bumper pads".
And one of the most important lessons that I have learned, DO NOT blame yourself. If you have loved your child and have not abused them then you have no reason to feel guilt. Just keep telling yourself, over and over, I have done everything I can, then log on here and let others reinforce it.
Thank you, whoever started this website!!