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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 212612" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Michelle, Welcome!</p><p> </p><p>Marg beat me to it--I was going to recommend The Explosive Child.</p><p>It's a great book and it will help you a lot.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, some of these kids have to stay on their medications. We all like to think it's just a temp thing and we can take them off in a few mo's, but that's pretty raire. Your middle son sounds like a handful, but at least you have some diagnosis's that help you figure him out, and can send you in certain directions for help.</p><p> </p><p>Your youngest is quite a confusing bundle. It's really hard to say whether the fall was a red herring or not. It does seem like a funny coincidence that the behaviours didn't begin until after the fall.</p><p> </p><p>Still, I can agree with-what Marg said, "It can only be conjecture, but it shows we have to be careful to avoid seeing everything necessarily as connected."</p><p>It is SO hard to figure it all out.</p><p> </p><p>In reg to the kids fighting, on occasion, I would ground both of my kids if they were fighthing, no matter whose fault it was. If it was a specific item, instead of grounding the, I'd put the item in Time Out. (A stuffed animal, a computer printer, whatever, would get locked in my ofc.)</p><p>easy child knew that difficult child had problems and that she couldn't react "normally" around him, at least not all the time. She knew she was supposed to not argue, that she was supposed to negotiate or change the subject, and she knew not to get into a screaming match.</p><p>difficult child knew he wasn't supposed to bait his sister, go into her room, annoy her, etc. It seemed for a while like they fed off of one another. </p><p>Threatening both of them with-punishment helped for a while, because it forced easy child to think outside the box and figure out how to work with-difficult child better. It also taught difficult child that easy child isn't really perfect, and then the two of them kind of teamed up against us, the parents, which was rather amusing, but predictable. </p><p>I don't know if that would work for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 212612, member: 3419"] Hi Michelle, Welcome! Marg beat me to it--I was going to recommend The Explosive Child. It's a great book and it will help you a lot. Yes, some of these kids have to stay on their medications. We all like to think it's just a temp thing and we can take them off in a few mo's, but that's pretty raire. Your middle son sounds like a handful, but at least you have some diagnosis's that help you figure him out, and can send you in certain directions for help. Your youngest is quite a confusing bundle. It's really hard to say whether the fall was a red herring or not. It does seem like a funny coincidence that the behaviours didn't begin until after the fall. Still, I can agree with-what Marg said, "It can only be conjecture, but it shows we have to be careful to avoid seeing everything necessarily as connected." It is SO hard to figure it all out. In reg to the kids fighting, on occasion, I would ground both of my kids if they were fighthing, no matter whose fault it was. If it was a specific item, instead of grounding the, I'd put the item in Time Out. (A stuffed animal, a computer printer, whatever, would get locked in my ofc.) easy child knew that difficult child had problems and that she couldn't react "normally" around him, at least not all the time. She knew she was supposed to not argue, that she was supposed to negotiate or change the subject, and she knew not to get into a screaming match. difficult child knew he wasn't supposed to bait his sister, go into her room, annoy her, etc. It seemed for a while like they fed off of one another. Threatening both of them with-punishment helped for a while, because it forced easy child to think outside the box and figure out how to work with-difficult child better. It also taught difficult child that easy child isn't really perfect, and then the two of them kind of teamed up against us, the parents, which was rather amusing, but predictable. I don't know if that would work for you. [/QUOTE]
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