Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Glad to find this site
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 528829" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>His brother is pretty wise for one so young. And it's very true. </p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Detachment is a process that is learned. You start by reminding yourself that his choices are not your choices. You begin to shift focus off of him and back into other areas of your life and other loved ones. Maybe finding some new interests will help, or rediscovering old ones. Spend time with other family members. Do things that make YOU happy. </p><p></p><p>It's not so easy at first. But it does get better with practice, and easier. We worry because we're Mom's and that is what we do. But their is a difference between mom worry and letting it take over your life and make you miserable. </p><p></p><p>If this therapist isn't listening and giving you want you need, you need a new one. You don't always get a good "fit" the first time around. </p><p></p><p>Instead of worrying myself sick over katie and the kids, I remind myself when I'm about to head down that road that she is an adult responsible for her own life/decisions and I have no control over it. Then i make myself let it go. Personally? I have enough of my own problems to worry about without tacking hers onto mine. If necessary I'll distract myself with cleaning, crocheting, gardening.....enjoying the other grandkids and kids.....you get the idea. Enough of that and it stops being something to think about every moment of the day, then not every day, then not every week. Now? I don't think about her much at all. Somewhere deep I still worry, and I certainly still love her and the kids, but I've had to let it go because there is simply nothing I can do to change it. If she ever gets her act together....or at the very least can manage a real apology....I'm here and she knows it. In the meantime, life continues to go on. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 528829, member: 84"] His brother is pretty wise for one so young. And it's very true. Welcome to the board. :) Detachment is a process that is learned. You start by reminding yourself that his choices are not your choices. You begin to shift focus off of him and back into other areas of your life and other loved ones. Maybe finding some new interests will help, or rediscovering old ones. Spend time with other family members. Do things that make YOU happy. It's not so easy at first. But it does get better with practice, and easier. We worry because we're Mom's and that is what we do. But their is a difference between mom worry and letting it take over your life and make you miserable. If this therapist isn't listening and giving you want you need, you need a new one. You don't always get a good "fit" the first time around. Instead of worrying myself sick over katie and the kids, I remind myself when I'm about to head down that road that she is an adult responsible for her own life/decisions and I have no control over it. Then i make myself let it go. Personally? I have enough of my own problems to worry about without tacking hers onto mine. If necessary I'll distract myself with cleaning, crocheting, gardening.....enjoying the other grandkids and kids.....you get the idea. Enough of that and it stops being something to think about every moment of the day, then not every day, then not every week. Now? I don't think about her much at all. Somewhere deep I still worry, and I certainly still love her and the kids, but I've had to let it go because there is simply nothing I can do to change it. If she ever gets her act together....or at the very least can manage a real apology....I'm here and she knows it. In the meantime, life continues to go on. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Glad to find this site
Top