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Substance Abuse
Go ahead and line up for the "I told you so's..."
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<blockquote data-quote="CAmom" data-source="post: 5443" data-attributes="member: 1835"><p>Thanks for all the positive feedback! </p><p></p><p>We do feel stronger now...of course, it helps to have the law behind us. For some reason, maybe related to whatever short circuit or no circuit accounts for ADHD behavior, my son has always been oblivious to social cues unless they were intense. For instance, a mildly angry face and mildly raised voice that would have stopped most kids in their tracks at various ages went right over my son's head. If he didn't see a SEVERELY angry face and hear a VERY loud, angry voice, he simply kept on doing what he was doing. I don't know how many times it was suggested to me that we should have his hearing checked. At 17, he hasn't changed much. But, this incident has been the REALLY big kick in the fanny that he must have needed to get his attention. Too bad we couldn't have done it without the system, but, there it is...</p><p></p><p>That said, it isn't easy for any of us, having his PO drop by at any time. For example, the last time he was here, he sent my son back to his room to change his shirt because, apparently, wearing baby blue is forbidden for someone on home detention because it's a "gang color" in certain nearby towns. This was in spite of the fact that my son is not allowed out of the house and would have no opportunity to show gang colors even if he did belong to one, which he doesn't! When my son indignantly but mildly responded that he was NOT a gang member, so why couldn't he wear blue inside his own home, that PO slapped handcuffs on him and read him the riot act about being disrepectful. I was floored! But, this was literally the first time in my son's life that I have seen him completely intimidated by any type of authority. He completely shut up (rare for him...) and answered only "Yes, sir, no sir" when spoken to. This is probably also a first in his life as he is a consumate "negotiator." So, as much as I hate the intrusion of this PO in our lives, I think it is something else my son really needed, and it's going to have a huge impact on his life in the future. </p><p></p><p>But, beside all that, you know what's really scary? The fact that, over a period of about three years, we saw our son going gradually downhill yet didn't really "get it." We weren't in denial--we knew he was smoking pot. Yet, we missed the tremendous impact it was having on his life and blamed it on the usual teenage stuff combined with his ADD issues. This is why my husband and I made our pact because we can't afford to let a situation like this on slip up on him or us again. </p><p></p><p>Thankfully, drug testing will be part of his probation, and they don't just test for the presence of marijuana (and other drugs) but expect to see a continually-decreasing level over time. He knows that, if he smokes even a bit of pot, the levels won't drop as they should. In many ways, I think he's relieved to have </p><p>"big brother" to answer to, although he wouldn't admit it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CAmom, post: 5443, member: 1835"] Thanks for all the positive feedback! We do feel stronger now...of course, it helps to have the law behind us. For some reason, maybe related to whatever short circuit or no circuit accounts for ADHD behavior, my son has always been oblivious to social cues unless they were intense. For instance, a mildly angry face and mildly raised voice that would have stopped most kids in their tracks at various ages went right over my son's head. If he didn't see a SEVERELY angry face and hear a VERY loud, angry voice, he simply kept on doing what he was doing. I don't know how many times it was suggested to me that we should have his hearing checked. At 17, he hasn't changed much. But, this incident has been the REALLY big kick in the fanny that he must have needed to get his attention. Too bad we couldn't have done it without the system, but, there it is... That said, it isn't easy for any of us, having his PO drop by at any time. For example, the last time he was here, he sent my son back to his room to change his shirt because, apparently, wearing baby blue is forbidden for someone on home detention because it's a "gang color" in certain nearby towns. This was in spite of the fact that my son is not allowed out of the house and would have no opportunity to show gang colors even if he did belong to one, which he doesn't! When my son indignantly but mildly responded that he was NOT a gang member, so why couldn't he wear blue inside his own home, that PO slapped handcuffs on him and read him the riot act about being disrepectful. I was floored! But, this was literally the first time in my son's life that I have seen him completely intimidated by any type of authority. He completely shut up (rare for him...) and answered only "Yes, sir, no sir" when spoken to. This is probably also a first in his life as he is a consumate "negotiator." So, as much as I hate the intrusion of this PO in our lives, I think it is something else my son really needed, and it's going to have a huge impact on his life in the future. But, beside all that, you know what's really scary? The fact that, over a period of about three years, we saw our son going gradually downhill yet didn't really "get it." We weren't in denial--we knew he was smoking pot. Yet, we missed the tremendous impact it was having on his life and blamed it on the usual teenage stuff combined with his ADD issues. This is why my husband and I made our pact because we can't afford to let a situation like this on slip up on him or us again. Thankfully, drug testing will be part of his probation, and they don't just test for the presence of marijuana (and other drugs) but expect to see a continually-decreasing level over time. He knows that, if he smokes even a bit of pot, the levels won't drop as they should. In many ways, I think he's relieved to have "big brother" to answer to, although he wouldn't admit it. [/QUOTE]
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