God brought me to this site for my sanity..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Struggling4myson, Aug 27, 2007.

  1. Struggling4myson

    Struggling4myson New Member

    Hello everyone, here is my deppressing story. My son is 6 years of age. Diagnosed by pediatrician with ODD in Oct. of 2006. Told me to get a book and good luck. Had daily struggles with defiance, throwing fits, hitting in class last year. Told school about problems with no help. Started psycho-therapy 4 months ago with no change. Been in 6 daycares in 6 months because of hurting children younger and handicapped? What the heck? His dad and I got divorced when he was 3 due to verbal and mental abuse I sustained. His dad is in the military and been overseas for the past 3 years. His dad had him one summer in 2006. He is in first grade with same daily tantrums, hitting, screaming and no one knows what set him off. The school psychologist came and evaluated him today and he was throwing a tantrum at the time. Good I guess so as she got a clear picture. I am a single mom that works, spends as much time with my son and have a behavioral program, constistency and routine at home. Usually have good progress at home besides that he is extremely intelligent so we have about 10 different activities going on at home. He gets very upset if his project is moved, touched or broken. Almost autistic like. He is very active even without sugar and with warm milk. Does not show regret nor remorse for his actions. I don't believe he can help his racing little mind but he is very smart, reading and writing at a 3rd grade level. After begging, finally got a psychiatrist to evaluate him on Sept. 6th, day after my birthday, best present ever. As you can tell, I am rambling because I am at my wits end, pulling my hair out and feel helpless. I just needed to vent. Thanks
     
  2. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Welcome! Glad you found this site, but sorry you had to! This is an awesome forum and you will get lots of great advice from these experienced Moms. I too am a newbie here and am trying to learn as much as I can. Again welcome! Hang in there. ; )
     
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    My little g'sfg are eating a snack... so I thought I would sneak in and welcome you!!!
    Sorry you have to be here. Let us know what the school psyhologist says...
    Are you prepared for the Psychiatrist meeting??? We brought a parent report and video to all of ours... K tends to act really good at most of these meetings!!!
    Under FAQ/Board help is a list of things and one of them is how to do a really good parent report, you can always tweak it.
    Again welcome, you have found a wonderful place!!!
     
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hello,

    just wanted to pop in and say hello and offer my support. I, too, am a single mom of a 6 year old (mine's a girl) and I know the struggles. We are going back and forth a bit with her diagnosis and her medications. It is a struggle. Being a parent of a difficult child (gift from God) is not for the faint of heart. You certainly seem to be on top of things (schedules, routines, good stuff!)
    There are many wise warrior moms on this site who will be along to offer their advice. I would suggest reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. A very good read on dealing with difficult children.

    Hugs, and welcome to the board!
     
  5. Struggling4myson

    Struggling4myson New Member

    Thank you guys sooo much! I finally feel like someone else knows what I am going through. I go through bouts of depression, guilt, mad, sad, strong, weak and down in the dumps and I don't know what to do anymore. Now I do not have a camera to take a video but the psychologist at school got a taste of his tantrum and wrote it down so hopefully that will help. I have the diagnosis from the pediatrician and notes from his out of school psychologist. I have tried homeopathic medications, warm milk, gentle music, down time to read but he bounces back up with all this energy which ends up turning into wacky behavior, manipulation, anger. I have to keep an eye on him around the dog and fish because I will take the trash out and he has a broom trying to get dog from under the couch and he sticks things in the fish bowl. This is getting out of control. 1 month ago he poured bath and body works shower gel over a 2 years old head and when the little boy started screaming from it getting into his eyes, Ethan sat there with no remorse. He scares me anymore. I can't believe this is happening. Of course, the other side of the family think I am a nut case and and unstable and that is why he is going through this but I know what I know and no man, abuse have been involved around me or him since I got a divorce. I do not have alot of support from family. They are blind to it and only suggest to bust his butt, which I know makes things worse so I have stopped that. He has the strongest, stubborn of a will I have ever seen out of a child. I hope I did not create this in some form. I just can't wait to get help. I am desperate but thanks for your support for it is God sent. God Bless you all!!!
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Are there are psychiatric diagnosis. or substance abuse on either side of the family tree (ex sounds pretty wacked). Maybe he DOES have a form of autism. I'm glad you have an appointment. so soon. Welcome to the board.
     
  7. waytootired

    waytootired New Member

    Hi Struggling4myson & Welcome !

    We have all heard "Oh, He just needs a good swat!" or "All he needs is some disapline !".. so please know you are not alone.

    Part of raising a difficult child is educating family members along the way. You can offer them information regarding your child's condition, but it will be up to them to whether they choose to accept the diagnonsis and try to understand & support you. I have had some close family members & a few friends pull away. Yes! It does hurt, but I would rather them pull away then make our life harder by being negative or saying hurtful things.

    Keep your head up! You have found a safe, supportive group here.
    Please keep us posted on what the psychiatrist has to say on the 6th.

    Hugs....
     
  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Welcome to a crowd of kindred spirits!

    You could be describing 90% of the 6 yr. old difficult child's on this site! lol!

    First of all, you can't drive yourself nuts, you didn't do it, create it or make it happen! If he's got autistic type tendencies, psychological issues, chemical imbalances, etc., you're going to find that out because you care. It would be your fault if you turned a blind eye to it, but you haven't. I think I can speak for most of the parents on here when I say that I don't think there's one of us that HASN'T been told to spank them, punish them, get tougher, etc. DUH! Don't you think most of us tried that!

    So relax a little, take care of yourself (and your sanity) because if you don't, you're not going to be able to help him or yourself.

    God bless!

    Beth
     
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I wanted to jump in and offer my warm welcome as well. :biggrin:

    Glad you've got a psychiatrist appoint so soon.

    Hugs
     
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just adding my welcome! Glad you found us. Your little one sounds a lot like my guy at that age. You definitely are not alone. It's good you have an appointment set up. One thing that's important but hard to fit in is finding time to take care of yourself. With kids like ours it is really important.
     
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