God help me

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Sherril2000, Sep 13, 2015.

  1. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Bad memories flooding my mind tonight after I tried to drop off my daughter at my exes' house. He wasn't home & she isn't allowed a key. To protect me, all our conversations by text or email are monitored by a counselor. I simply sent a text that she & I were at his house & we would wait 5 minutes & if he didn't show up he could pick her up at my house. (Which is 1 block away.) this started WW3 & I've now been accused of being a liar, thief, & terrible mother via text. This is the same man that called the state board of nursing & told them I divert drugs & am an addict. ( Because his girlfriend was convicted of obtaining drugs by forgery & deceit& possession of Schedule 1 & 2 narcotics & lost her job.) she is living with him & he knew this would hurt his chances of getting custody of my daughter, so he thought if he could accuse me of the same thing, it would even the playing field. Obviously it didn't work & I was cleared by the board. Anyway, I have tried & tried to get along with this man for my daughters' sake. Despite everything he's done, he's still her dad & I know the kids need both parents. Don't know how much longer I can deal with this though. The counselor can't even deal With him. Trying to get through this, while worrying about my sons' hearing in the morning. Too much!
     
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Next time don't text. Wait the 5 then leave.
     
  3. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Lol! Wish I could! Strict court orders govern everything we do.
     
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  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Some people are dsngerous to their kids. They are better off without them. Sounds like environment there would be dangerous. Jmo but it may be better to ask for supervised visitation if you can get it. Can you go back to court? I know about the silliness of court orders mandating that you work with ex,s you cant rationalize with. My ex daughter in law tortures my son and their child all the time.

    Hugs. Hoping you can find some recourse.
     
  5. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    I'm so sorry your son & grandchild are going through that. You're right, some people are dangerous to their kids. You're also right, I'm seriously thinking about going back to court. Because of all the trouble my son has been in, exes attorney says as long as he lives with me she will remain in joint custody.
     
  6. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    I'm so sorry your son & grandchild are going through that. You're right, some people are dangerous to their kids. You're also right, I'm seriously thinking about going back to court. Because of all the trouble my son has been in, exes attorney says as long as he lives with me she will remain in joint custody.
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks. They are back in court. Again. She keeps trying to get sole legal custody. If she ever does, and my son will fight to the death, well, my grandson will be in a world of hurt if only his mother and stepfather, whom he hates, have a say so over what he does. I am taking it one day at a time.

    Do see what court can do. If you can get proof that drugs are being used in father's house, that could help. I learned that you need proof. Court is scary. They don't really care about the emotional best interests of the kids, because they CANT get to know every child and every parent. They just follow laws and in family law that can be subjectively decided by a GAL or psychologist who forms opinions that are either right or wrong. And we can't do anything.

    Good luck!!!
     
  8. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    I'm so sorry Sherrill. I can't imagine the frustration you are feeling. It sounds like you are doing the only thing you can do, which is complying with the court's directives and trying to stay on the high road.

    But it takes a huge toll on you.

    Hang in there! Do some nice things for YOU today. You deserve it. Please keep posting. We care about you.
     
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  9. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Sorry for what you are going through Sherril. You are abiding by the rules the court has laid out. It's to bad your ex is behaving this way. Make sure you save the texts, you never know when you may need them.
    It's such a shame that he's acting this way, I feel bad for your daughter.

    Let us know how your son's hearing goes.

    Keeping good thoughts for you!!

    ((HUGS))
     
  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi Sherril

    Glad to see you!

    How old is your daughter? Mine is 10.

    It is so hard to deal with an ex, especially when children are involved. I am dealing with my X (yes, I only refer to him with a large X) right now, after an almost complete absence of four years. It suxxxxx!

    Your son is still living with you? How is he doing? How are you and your daughter dealing with him?
     
  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I do have to take exception to this. Judges and GAL's really do want to do what's best for the child. That is the #1 mandate of the law - to do what's in the best interest of the child; to keep the child as secure and stable as they would have been if the parties stayed together. Do they get it wrong? Of course. But they don't just not care.

    I've been wondering what's going on with your son Sherril2000? Anything new?
     
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  12. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Thanks to you all for the support. Very sad today. Was in court most of the day for my son's hearing. I did hire an attorney for him, & he tried to persuade my son to take a plea & agree to 3 years jail time. I thought it was his best option too. He refused though, telling my attorney the drug dealer would not testify against him. Well, he did. His testimony was weak, & he even admitted my son was an accessory. My son's co-defendant is a 38 year old felon. The drug dealer admitted the co-defendant pulled a gun on him & robbed him but said my son was there too. Since the co-defendant is "cooperating" with the Commonwealth they are trying to place all the charges on my son. Don't get me wrong, I agree what he did was terrible & he deserves to be punished. It disgusts me, however, that this co-defendant will probably walk away from this & be back out on the streets to continue committing crimes. He has a long history of criminal behavior & is already a felon. Praying my son will at least be given no more than 3 years for this. Robbery is a horrible crime & I'm also praying he learns from this & gets himself straight. Like everyone else here, I love my child & want only the best for him. This is so hard on my daughter too. She loves him & it breaks her heart to see him locked up. Looking out my window, watching the neighborhood kids riding their bikes & wishing mine could be little again. All their problems could be solved with a hug & kiss back then.
     
  13. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Oh Sherril, I am sorry about what happened in court today. I know what you mean about accepting and agreeing with them having a consequence for what they did---i felt the same way---but it is particularly painful and hard to just sit there and watch them take now than their share. Just more powerlessness for you.

    I hope you can be especially kind to yourself in these next days. You need to be at the top of your list.

    We're here for you, to listen and encourage and offer ideas and options. Please know we care about you and we understand.

    Lots of hugs for you tonight.
     
  14. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Thank you so much. I took my daughter out for a nice dinner, then we took a walk & just talked. This is all very hard for her too. When I got home I took a nice long bubble bath & am now relaxing with a good book. Thanks again for understanding. Once again, this is where I come when I've reached my breaking point.
     
  15. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Thanks for the update. It was very kind of you to get a lawyer for your son. It's too bad he did not take the plea deal.

    It sounds like you had a very nice evening with your daughter. I'm sure she cherishes special time with you.

    I'm glad you are taking some time for yourself. Nothing like a nice bubble bath.

    Keep us posted on your son.

    ((HUGS)) to you my friend.
     
  16. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm reading along too Sherrill. I'm so sorry about the hearing. I also know how it feels to be the Mom in a scenario like the one you described......it's hard to describe the hurt in our hearts. I'm glad you and your daughter had a chance to talk and that you're relaxing now. Sending hugs.......take care of you now....
     
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